Arrow in the Head reviews "The Birds 2: Land's End"

The Birds 2 (1994)

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Directed by:	Rick Rosenthal
Starring:	Brad Johnson/Ted
	Chelsea Field/May
	James Naughton/Frank
	Jan Rubes/Karl

RATING

PLOT-CRUNCH:

Ted (Johnson), May (Field) and their two young daughters move to "Land’s End" for the summer. Her to work (with her Gino boss) and him to get over his son’s death (also to work on some paper). Tension in the couple grows, cheating is considered, turmoil brews in Brad’s mind, not accepting his loss…oh…yeah and some crazy birds decide to attack people…almost forgot..

THE LOWDOWN:

I have a theory. When the movie’s title is mentioned many times in a film…the movie sucks. The more time the title pronounced, the more the movie sucks. It’s a bad theory but here it’s on the money. They say "Land’s End" at least 6 times in this flick and yes it blows. I won’t mince words…the movie is an immobile bore, that only shows a minor spark of life in the last 10 minutes. I mean isn’t this suppose to be a movie about psycho birds??? I guess the shamed filmmaker didn’t know that. (Rosenthal goes under the name Alan Smithee). We’re served with all the "TV Movie" drama in the world: Ted mourning, May not showing any support and considering messing around with her boss Frank (Naughton), Frank flirting like a bitch in heat, the town mayor not listening to Ted’s warnings about the birds etc. All we get is half ass drama, way sappy.

The birds do come in at the end, bringing all the clichés with them: The phone is dead, the electricity is out, Ted boards the house with planks of wood…you know the drill. I second guessed the movie the whole way and was 99% on the ball. I mean this is one dumb family, after the first bird attack (they attack the kids) I would have packed my bags and driven straight home. But they stick around. This is a sleep inducing, fast forward button gazing, unnecessary sequel. Why did they even bother. It’ll take more than a Tippy Hedren cameo (she’s in the Hitchcock original) to save this loser. Let’s sink this one…

ACTING:

Brad Johnson (Ted) gives a solid turn as the mourning father and husband. Too bad he’s in a lousy movie. Chelsea Field (May) delivers a finely tuned performance, too bad she’s in a bad movie too. James Naughton (Frank) does great as the lusting Italian stallion… I loved to hate him. Jan Rubes gives a sympathetic performance, I’m not sure about the accent though…does it work???

GORE:

Eyes pecked out, scratches here and there, nothing to get a woody about.

T & A:

Jack all.

DIRECTING:

Did Rosenthal even try? Point and shoot the whole way. Very stale.

SOUNDTRACK:

Basic uninvolving score.

BOTTOM LINE:

If you’re gonna do a sequel to a Hitchcock classic at least start with a good script! It’s not an impossible feat…the "Psycho" sequels weren’t half bad! This movie just lays there, challenging you to stay awake. The acting is good and the last 10 minute does have some action but that doesn’t erase the hour and a half of torture I had to sit through to get there. This is one of the more generic films I have ever seen, there isn’t a reason in the world to rent this shite. Not one.

BULL'S EYE:

Muse Watson (the hookman in the "Summer" flicks) has a small part as a bartender. But his name doesn’t even appear in the credits, they put the wrong actor’s name! Can they do anything right???

Rick Rosenthal disowned the film…now I know why.

This flick WAS made for TV…it shows…

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