Never, never fuck with The King! --- Elvis Aaron Presley

Today was a “Lethal Weapon” day for me; you know those days you don’t want to do shit, but stare at the walls with a glass of straight JD in one hand and a gun in the other? Yup, one of those. So I slapped "Bubba Ho-Tep" into my player, not even feeling like watching a damn movie, but having to since…hey…that’s one of my many jobs. It took about 2 minutes into this whacked adventure for me to drop the gun, forget my worries and for an earnest smile to grace my face again. Written and directed by the father of “Phantasm” Don Coscarelli, “Bubba Ho Tep” (coming to DVD on May 25, 2004) turned out to be one of the most unique and sincere pictures I’ve seen all year thus far. Thank you Don Coscarelli and Bruce Campbell! This movie was unadulterated magic!

WOW! Talk about big balls on this animal! Get this; the flick’s premise has an elderly Elvis Presley (Campbell) and a brother who might be JFK (Davis) fighting a soul-sucking Mummy at a retirement home. I know what you’re thinking; the possibilities for high camp are endless! Well, in an audacious move, "Bubba Ho-Tep", went against the more obvious route by never venturing into the “too easy” camp zone. Instead, it gave us a kooky ride, but also brought up all the themes and pathos that comes with old age. Who knew? I also loved how the film ingeniously used Elvis’s victory against impotence and the Mummy’s ruckus on his home as prompting elements to get him back on his feet...feeling alive again and on his way to redemption. Man, I was rooting for him like a Lakers tramp on nose candy!

The film’s dramatic impact was also reinforced thanks to everybody playing their parts in mucho grounded fashion. That was the main strength of the whole, in my opinion; both the amazing Ossie Davis and Campbell we’re so credible in their roles that they came across as REAL people even amidst the silly-willy circus they were in. That made me care about them on a very deep level and involved me in the storyline to a ludicrous degree. Bruce Campbell, in particular, totally bowled me over with his stellar showcase. I always knew that the hombre was royalty in his own right via his “Hail to The King” shtick as Ash (from "The Evil Dead" series) but I am now convinced that he is almost God-like. Bruce played the man with the burns, as just that, a man and although hints of Ash would surface now and then, I truly believed I was watching the TRUE Elvis Presley doing his thing for the bulk of the way.

Now don’t get me wrong, ghouls and ghoulettes, there was more than one jig to this dance! This baby wasn’t all thought-provoking themes and tissue wasting drama. Although to be honest, I did tear up a few times (yes, I’m as sensitive as a porn star's knob after a hard day’s work), I also laughed my "boomstick" off left, right, behind, front and center! If it wasn’t the crude “Kevin Smith would be proud” dialogue exchanges tearing me a new bung-hole, the uber freaking kool Elvis flashbacks dry whipping my butt or the witty narration sending me into giggle fits, it was the slew of circumstantial side-splitting bits popping out to kill me. You haven’t lived a full life until you’ve seen the King of Rock and Roll, use his walker as a deadly weapon, fiercely battle a flying Scarab, or pulling some groovy Kung Fu “stage” moves when faced against a deadly mummy. I was through the roof in laughter and then some!

The last spice in this mad dish was the engaging horror quotient with a fashion-conscious Mummy running amuck leading the way. Admittedly, I wasn’t too afraid of the big lug -- the Mummy design itself was fairly simple (man in suit) -- and I knew damn well that The King would always prevail. But that’s not to say there weren’t some creepy moments within the film. Coscarelli put out a couple of expertly built up and executed spooky sequences that had me gawking in admiration at the skill and the macabre beauty before me (Elvis’ first meeting with the Mummy is a great example of that). All that to say, don’t look to be scared out of your wits, but do expect to relish the gorgeous eerie moments served up in hefty doses.  

Two sequels, one called "Bubba Nosferatu" and the other "Bubba Sasquatch" have been mentioned by the filmmakers as possibilities if the original makes enough dough. It better freaking happen!

This film will be available on DVD on May 25, 2004. Click here to pre-order.

This movie is based on a short story by Joe R. Lansdale.