This remake i.e. re-imagining i.e. selling a film on name recognition of George Romero’s definitive zombie picture "Dawn of the Dead" (1978) didn’t appeal to me from the get-go. Romero’s flick is untouchable in my eyes and I felt that this new entry was just another pointless “cha-ching” inspired idea.

So I went into this flick with low expectations and I came out pretty much feeling the same way…low. The first thing I said to my friend (my Kermit the Frog hand-puppet) when walking out of the theatre was “Did I just see a movie?” Granted, it all started on the right bone-crack with an energetic opening which delivered tension, tagged with a semi-sense of awe. Seeing a classic suburban setting ravaged into an absolute, chaotic nightmare was quite a trip and the insane anarchy on display was much appreciated by this jerk. There’s nothing like the end of the world to put a smile on my stupid face. Sadly, once that was done with, the film’s power went down faster than a drunken club-chick bobbing for quarters in one’s lap. LET THE BEATING BEGIN!

First off, we didn’t get much meat to chew on, character-wise. Consider your standard caricatures as “heroes” and people with “victim” aka “Canadian Actor” carved on their foreheads as the undead fodder (who was that blonde bimbo again?) The half-baked nature of the human element definitely lessened the power of the situation where I was rarely fully engaged or immersed in what was going down. The unraveling of events also played out fairly limply. What happened here? Did this flick get a vicious blind beating in the editing room? Characters turned a new leaf out of left field, drama/conflict was rushed (therefore having zero impact), morbid scenarios were clumsily built upon (the baby stuff wound up being a waste of a good idea) and turn of events happened in choppy “something is missing” ways at times. A bad, bad person cut this one down for the "low attention span” of planet earth…I smell it!

And where were the scares at? Out to lunch with the boss’s wife? Apart from a couple of “jumpers”, not much fear was injected into my veins. For some reason, the human vs undead conflict was mostly absent for the middle of the movie and I personally never felt that the zombies outside were much of a threat to the people inside the mall. The fact that a hundred thousand zombies piled up against a glass door couldn’t break it down (the glass is shatter proof, you see) surely didn’t help in upping the stakes of the narrative. What the fudge was that all about? Toss some flesh-craving ghouls in that freaking mall already! Have them ride the mechanic plane for all I care! WE NEED THEM IN THERE! But noooo, the flick was just too damn busy dicking around, throwing in INANE twists (that chick risking all in the name of her pooch…COME ON!) or playing out an “out of place” cutesy montage, to bother. The last nail in my decaying grey matter were the zombies themselves. Why were they running like the T-1000 on crack again? Last I heard, when you’re dead...you get a little stiff in the limbs, no? That’s why zombies usually lumber! Somebody forgot to tell somebody that the baddies in "28 Days Later" (the obvious inspiration) were not real zombies but humans infected with rage; that’s why they sprinted! It’s not the same thing as being dead! So it didn’t make much sense to me here.

On a “vital signs are showing” note, I will say that I highly appreciated the stellar ensemble cast who graced this movie! They took their “on paper” nothing characters and made me interested in them via sheer presence alone. Ving Rhames (the man IS presence), Jake Weber, Ty Burrell, Michael Kelly, Mekhi Phifer and Sarah Polley, in particular, had me on their side the whole way. What a fine group of actors! They made the whole thing worthwhile. Emotionally, there was one relationship in the movie that actually did manage to touch me and that was the one Rhames had with that duder across the street. It was well executed in its simplicity. And luckily, the last block finally delivered the gravy! We get ample gore which was refreshingly mostly practical (no CGI) and pretty damn graphic; heads exploded real well, bites were nasty…it almost felt like the good old days. And I loved that chainsaw surprise! OH YEAH! Lastly, the wham-bam action sequences hit the spot when they finally kicked in hardcore with exciting chases and gripping shootouts up the wazoo. The zombies on fire on the fence  and the sewer bit were the shit!!

Ken Foree pops up as preacher on TV saying the same line he said in the original “When there’s no room in hell, the dead will walk the earth”.

Tom Savini also shows up in a funny cameo as a Sheriff.

Scott Reiniger (Roger in the original) has a cameo as a General.

Matt Frewer aka Max Headroom has a small role here.

Lindy Booth and Kevin Zeguers are also both in the film. They played lovers in "Wrong Turn".

James Gunn (of Tromeo and Juliet fame and Scooby-Doo infamy) wrote the screenplay for this movie.

Stay tuned for a surprise during the end credits.