- News - Reviews
- Interviews - Mistresses
Talk - Quizzes - Links
- Movie Malls
Trailers - Screensavers
- Scripts - Wallpapers
- Who is The Arrow - Contact
Dead and Breakfast (2004)
| Directed by:
are driving across Texas to hit a wedding, but when they stop at a bed and
breakfast located in some butt-plug-nowhere town for some R&R, thing get
screwy. Can you enunciate POSSESSION? Can you enunciate ZOMBIES? Can you
enunciate MUCHO GORE? Can you enunciate MUSICAL NUMBER? Was that a typo?
Nope! MUSICAL NUMBER!!!!
SADDLE UP BUCKAROOS!
As shown at...
thought you were a vegan! --- Johnny
be damn “Bobby Joe”! I knew of “Dead and Breakfast” by name, but
didn’t know diddly squat about what is was all about. Well, color me
purple with giggles and snap my pet’s neck in joy, because nothing (not
even back-flipping midgets with Down syndrome) could’ve prepared me for
the concoction that was home-run my way.
and Breakfast” obviously came straight from the bloody heart of die-hard
genre fans (writer-director Matthew Leutwyler and “story credit” Billy
Burke). How else would you explain the horror references, the clever spins
on familiar genre situations and the ludicrous amount of graphic “Peter
Jackson”-like gore? Yeah, you heard me “Peter Jackson-like gore!”
Gore hounds, stop reading this toilet-paper review and go hunt this
film down…right now! This ghastly bad boy was beyond messy! You still
here? Ok, I’ll continue. Furthermore, this movie was evidently made by
folks that have a sly sense of humor (the dialogue was so bang-on), who
like to take chances and that even within the familiarity of its whole,
wanted to offer up a shovel full of uniqueness. Some of the comedic bits
on display had me breakin' on the floor like "Shabba-Doo"! KICK IT!
mean, how many fear bon-bons have you seen that had a country singer (Zach
Selwyn) interlude between scenes to comment on the events going down via
slick twang songs? What about Zombies who take a breather from their
attack to launch into a “Thriller-esque” dance routine? You see that
often? And how many horror flicks have you seen that used grisly drawings
as a way to express what’s happening or to act as scene transitions? For
me, all these goodies were freaking entertaining and I was "hands down"
totally wooed by the freshness of it all. Another main strength was the
stellar cast in the house, who themselves interpreted a slew of highly
memorable characters that kept warming up my Pop-Tarts to toasty. I
got very attached to most of the peeps here and I would’ve followed them
to “Blockbuster” (i.e. hell) and back. NOTE: I want Sara “mix of Ash
and Ripley” (Carradine) to marry me and I want Melody (Phillips) to join
us for the honeymoon...there’s a burger I want to shove down her vegan
the sour side of the Karo syrup, the film did miss my mark a few times
humor-wise (especially when the kooky music would kick in to force-feed a
humorous bit), but that’s subjective. What didn’t make me laugh might
crack you up like a stepped on “Ritz” cracker. My biggest peeve though
was that the picture fell short on plot. Sure, there was a story present,
but I can’t say that it did much for me one way or another. I saw it
more as a slim excuse to put out wacky and brutal stuff than stimuli for
the narrative. I actually found myself a tad impatient at times.
When the film was
taking the time to explore its ho-hum intrigue (graveyard scene),
all I wanted was to get back to the slaughter. Lastly, I felt it all
capped off fairly abruptly. It’s hard to verbalize, but the film just
ended...boom, done, that on that. I was yearning for more as the end
on the whole, "Dead and Breakfast" was a heavy metal meal of Ketchup,
severed limbs, slick tunes, wild imagination and hearty chuckles. Been on
a steady diet of studio crap of late? Want to lose a few inches of
“boredom” around your grey matter waistline? Order a “Dead and
Breakfast” and you’ll be one content mofo. LEG WRESTLE THIS!
Jeremy Sisto (Christian) had to play “kool” and he did that Aces! What
a likeable guy! Erik Palladino (David) was also endearing as the booze-guzzling hombre. Loved him! Gina Philips (Melody) was sweet as candy as
the vegan “good” girl. Ever Carradine (Sara) kicked so much ass as the
chainsaw wielding, Zombie-destroying machine that she was. Oz Perkins
(Johnny) had the necessary oddball look and hit the right tone for his
peculiar part. David Carradine (Mr. Wise) showed up long enough to give us
that arresting “Carradine stare”. Miranda Bailey (Records Keeper) and
Diedrich Bater (Henry) were simply hilarious in their roles!
Brent David Fraser (The Drifter) deadpanned his way through the
part with winning results. Jeffrey Dean Morgan (Sheriff) nailed his
yuk-yuk delivery. Bianca Lawson (Kate) was effective in what she had to do
while Portia De Rossi (Kelly) owned in her cameo! That Bride-Bridesmaid
phone convo killed me!
SINGS: “It’s a bloody world after all, it’s a bloody world after
all, it’s a bloody world after all, it’s a BLOOOOO –DYYYYYY…WORLD!
We’re treated to a knife in the throat, an impaling, a spike in the
head, gunshots in the head, a stick in the eye, cymbal in the head, mucho
beheadings, lots of blow off heads, blown up faces, blown off hand, half a
face blown off, a hammer in the head, a chainsaw in the neck (now THAT was
something!), a drill in the head, chainsawed limbs, an arrow in the back
(why not “in the head”?), vicious beatings and mucho stabbings. YOWZER!
IT’S FUCKING CHRISTMAS OVER HERE!
Wait a minute,
am I on Candid Camera, am I being filmed in my room…RIGHT NOW? NO? Then
why wasn’t there any female flesh peddling in this flick? COME ON! One
tit shot, that’s all we needed…just one! Implants, no implants, no
matter. Not having boobies in a movie of this ilk was akin to having a Big
Mac without the Coke or the Ex-Lax to flush it down. Bummer...
Leutwyler was on top of things, offering up inventive and stylish shots,
some potent atmosphere and a slick use of split screen during a crowd
pleasing bar massacre. I dug his vibe!
about variety! We get some rock, some country, some rap country (fun shite,
Zach Selwyn rocks!), some Sinatra like jive, some heavy stuff and an
electronic score by Brian Vander Ark that got the job done with pizzazz.
Breakfast” reminded me of a ramble I always vomit out via this site or
when I get real drunk and won’t shut the F up, much to the dismay
of my friends: “We need more horror fans to become horror filmmakers...that’s the only way true horror will stay alive!”
This riot act
sported Grade "A" Red Chunky Gravy, a genre-friendly cast, a
creative/daring attitude, zany characters and an overall “fuck it, let's
have fun with this” stance about its shenanigans. Sure, there wasn’t
much of a story behind the madness, but trust me when I say this: the novel approach and the outlandish red-wet mayhem more than made
up for that. Order this meal with a side order of “let’s have a
blast!” and thank me at my funeral!
film was shot in California, USA.
Bater (Henry) is best known for his role on “The Drew Carey Show”
Carradine is the daughter of David Carradine’s half brother John
Lawson (Kate) is best known for her roles on "Saved by the Bell: The New
Class" and her stint on “Bones”.
Sisto is a great man and has rocked since his genre debut in "Hideway".
out this film's trailer here
THE OFFICIAL DEAD AND BREAKFAST SITE HERE
HERE TO GET THE FULL FANTASIA FILM LINE UP!
this movie on The Arrow's HORROR BOARD
back to the Arrow in the Head Homestead...
Fallon All Rights Reserved JoBlo.com