Let me put this out there before I go any further. I have never read the LOTR books (I read Hustler magazine), I’ve never been into “Dungeons and Dragons” (I dig getting laid more) and I’m not a big fan of movies with freakin' elves in them (reminds me of Christmas…I hate Christmas). So I went in to see this film with zero expectations. I actually wasn’t looking forward to it much.

Having said that, I can safely say that I genuinely enjoyed LOTR and was really surprised at how much I got into it. This is basically an old fashioned Good versus Evil tale (loved the whole “ring” concept) but with a huge budget and incredible production value. I was flabbergasted by this film’s impressive landscapes...be it the wide plains, the creepy forests, the snow filled mountains, the peaceful river or the spooky cave. My eyes were riveted to the screen. You will believe the world of this film. Walking through it with the main characters, I felt like a damn kid again. It was nice to re-capture that sense of wonder movies used to give me.

Action-wise, the flick also delivers. For a three hour movie it didn’t lag as much as I thought it would. The film is long but it never bored me. Once the premise is firmly established, the film’s beat is fairly simple. The gang talk and walk, then they fight or get into a dangerous situation. The flick keeps that flow the whole way till the end. The fight sequences themselves are extremely engaging and are filled with tension. Seeing Aragon (Mortensen) kick all kinds of bootie with his sword brought a huge smile to my face. I also dug seeing that archer dude (Bloom) doing all kinds of neat stuff with his bow and arrow. FUN TIMES! 

The film’s special effects are astounding 98 percent of the time. Be it the “stunt” pieces (like the avalanche on the mountain), the creature effects (lots of kool monsters here) or the eerie “ring” dimension…this white boy was convinced. The biggest kicker however (for me) was seeing Frodo (Wood) look so small compared to Gandalf (McKellen). That was a kind of cute. I think everybody should own a Hobbit. They would make great pets.

I will admit to being disappointed with the bald monster in the cave though. It looked too CGI for my liking, especially when the live characters would jump on it. It took me "out of the action" a bit. But overall, the visual effects are solid.

I do have some qualms with the flick though. First off, not having read the books there was a lot of stuff that the characters would talk about that went over my head. There are so many weird words and big names in this flick! My simple-minded arse didn’t always get it. Another negative is the block with Cate Blanchett. What was the point of that scene again? Actually what was the point of her character? The scene is too long for the amount of substance it gives us and it also makes way for the only “corny” sequence in the film. Without giving it away I will say that it involves a “morphing” effect that had me laughing when it was supposed to scare me. My last complaint would have to be the anti-climatic ending. It just ends and that’s it. Now I know this is the first part of a trilogy but how about ending it with a cliffhanger or a more memorable event? The ending let me down. I have to wait a whole year to know what happens next? Come on!

Elijah Wood (Frodo) does well and didn’t get on my nerves like I thought he would. I was dreading that “Do they, Gandalf?” line I kept hearing in the trailer but it went down smoothly. Ian McKellen (Gandalf) is perfect casting as the wizard. He reminded me of the “Alphagetti” cereal wizard. I like “Alphagetti” and I liked him too. Viggo Mortensen (Aragon) was my anchor to the film. I love the guy! Thank God that we had a real man to relate to in here. He sure knows how to whoop that ass and has charisma to boot. Sean Astin (Sam) does fine as Frodo’s close friend/maybe lover. I would’ve preferred an unknown to Liv Tyler (Arwen) for the elf part though. When she popped up, all I saw was Liv Tyler with pointy ears. I’m not a big fan.

All three films were shot in New Zealand.