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Ghoulies (1985)
 
 
 Directed by: Luca Bercovici
 Starring: Peter Liapis as Jonathan
Lisa Pelikan as Rebecca
Jack Nance as Wolfgang (RIP)
Keith Joe Dick as Dick
   
RATING

PLOT-CRUNCH:


Jonathan just inherited this old manor. He and his main squeeze Rebecca decide to invite a couple of their loser friends and throw a crazy bash. PARTY!!!
 

THE LOWDOWN:


I guess they didn’t party the same way we do in the 80’s. They don't drink themselves to a stupor, they don't have crazy orgies…nooooo….they decide to invoke spirits. They call and two midgets wearing pots on their heads answer. Don't let the box fool you (a ghoulie popping out the toilet), this movie is not about the Ghoulies. This movie is mainly about black magic, sorcerers and yes, those damn midgets! You haven't seen acting until you witness two midgets sharing a scene.

The Ghoulies are inconsequential to the story, you could remove them from the movie and it wouldn’t make a difference. What is a Ghoulie anyway you may ask? Well a Ghoulie is a 3$ puppet some cheap filmmaker puts in his film cause Gremlins made money. Now let's get down to the bare bones of it all.
 

ACTING:


Liapis and Pelikan give good performances considering the script they have to deal with. Keith Joe Dick has lots of fun playing Dick. He’s over the top and wears his name well, Dick is a human penis. The late and great Jack Vance is totally wasted in this film, we hardly see him…too bad.
 

GORE:


I’ve seen more gore in a Different Strokes episode.
   

T & A:


Nothing…I mean what kind of 80’s flick is this??? No tit shots! We do get to see Keith Joe Dick’s semi cut chest and his underdeveloped abs though…fun!!!!
   

DIRECTING:


By the numbers…mainly point and shoot.
   

SOUNDTRACK:


Annoying, I felt as if the Carnival wuz in town.
   

BOTTOM LINE:


This isn’t Gremlins. I say skip it. The only memorable scene in this movie involves a clown puppet but if that's what gets you off, rent Poltergeist. Ghoulies deserves to stay in the toilet.
 

BULL'S EYE:


Ghoulies was followed by three sequels. The sequels concentrate more on the Ghoulies, sex and comedy (part 3 is called Ghoulies Go To College…have a blast!!!).

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 I’d BUTCHER my family to see this again
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 An ok way to KILL two hours
 Just sling an ARROW in my head and let me die in peace

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