Godzilla 2000 (2000)
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| Directed by: |
Takao
Okawa
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| Starring: |
Takehiro
Murata/Shinoda |
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Naomi
Nishida/Yuki |
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Mayu
Suzuki/Lo |
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Shiro
Sano/Miayasaka |
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| RATING
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PLOT-CRUNCH:
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Godzilla is chilling in Tokyo, breaking
stuff until some UFO drops by and invades his turf. The saucer has the
scientists baffled (a dead hamster would baffle these guys) but Godzilla
is not a cerebral kind of lizard. He likes to settle conflicts the old
fashioned way…with a good smack of the tail.
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THE
LOWDOWN: |
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Before I start my review I’d like to say that I am not fan of Hong Kong
Godzilla flicks in general. There I said it, read at your own risk. Bad
story, awful lines (my favorites: "we all have a bit of Godzilla in
us" or "Holy Caesars ghost!"), putrid acting and so bad
they’re amusing effects. I won’t mince words, the only reason to see
this flick is to laugh at it. I will admit, I was sometime impressed by
the imagination of the film (Godzilla being attacked by phone live wires
or the slick UFO) but overall for me this was a big waste of time. If I
want to see bad plot points (like the little girl who begs Yuki to go
rescue her dad but when they get there she stops her from going….why did
you bring her in the first place???) I’ll go watch another slasher
flick.
Yes, seeing grown men
dressed up in lizard costumes fighting is funny stuff but I could see the
same thing if watch I "wrestling" on TV. The
"this so bad it’s good" stuff is just not my cup of tea. Where’s
Matthew Broderick when you need him?
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| ACTING: |
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Takehir Murata does funny faces, Naomi Nishida pouts a lot, Mayu Suzuki is
no different than American kid actresses, she’s annoying. Shiro Sano
looks like Christopher Walken but can’t act. Hiroshi Abe has one facial
expression…stone…
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| GORE: |
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Nothing if you don’t count broken buildings. I will say that Godzilla’s
foe has a mouth that resembles an anus though…is that gore?
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| T
& A: |
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Godzilla shows his tail.
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| DIRECTING: |
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A few nice shots here and there but mostly point and shoot.
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| SOUNDTRACK: |
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An overblown score that oozes with emotion…urgh.
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| BOTTOM LINE: |
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Watching my dog sniff another dog is more fun that this. I
just don’t get the appeal. Godzilla doesn’t even eat anybody! He just
barks a lot and wobbles around…snore…The characters can’t stop
preaching ("what man doesn’t understand, he must destroy") and
the actors are awful. I will admit the dubbing doesn’t help (ever heard
of subtitles), but that’s half the problem…the other half is lack of
conviction. I know I missed the point, the gag, the whole joke….but
after seeing this flick…I really don’t want to get it.
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| BULL'S EYE: |
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The US version of Godzilla was one of the highest grossers in Japan 1998.
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