Freddie aka Busta Rhymes
me an asshole or a tightly wound purist, I don’t care, I personally
didn’t respect "Halloween: H20".
They sold Michael out to the “Scream”
audience, therein dissing the hardcore fans who spent their hard earned
dollars following the storyline over the years. Hey man, I was there in
the theatre for Part 4-5-6…now you telling me that IT DOESN’T MATTER?
with that pattern, "Halloween 8" also mostly discards (except
for Laurie’s involvement) all of the previous Mike Myers carnivals. But
the worst sin which H8 commits is discarding H20’s main raison d’etre
(Michael back to stalk his nephew) to give our beloved mass murderer a
“janitorial” task as motivation instead. Teen wastes are in his house,
Michael be cleaning…that’s it. That’s the plot of H8! Not even one
mention of Laurie’s son John (played by Josh Hartnett in H20)! Where are
the new answers promised? The links to the previous entries? Probably in
Akkad’s bank account.
this has to be the thinnest of all the Halloween films. The lead
characters are so beyond underdeveloped it’s a screenwriting crime. Call
5.0. now! Why the hell was Tyra Banks’ character Nora in this movie
again? Sure, we get a close up of her heart shaped bootie (thanks
Rosenthal) but other than that, she’s absent most of the way. And what
about our heroine Sara (Kajlich)? You know the LEAD girl? She’s also
abandoned for a long period of time and I can’t say that I found out
anything about who she was throughout the film. Nice tits though. And then
we have the lousy dialogue, I laughed my ass off more than once.
Wait till you see that chick hit Mike with a chainsaw while yelping
“This is for so and so, this is for so and so”! I had a giggle fit!
That was so BADDDDD! *END MINOR SPOILERS*
Mack Daddy Busta Rhymes (Freddie) is a whole other ballgame. Oh my
Carpenter, we in trouble! To be honest, I usually dig the dude, I enjoyed
his shtick in "Shaft" a lot but he had NO BUSINESS being in this
movie and it angered me that he made a mockery of it all. *MINOR SPOILERS*
When faced with Michael, Busta did these over-the-top martial arts like
gestures that almost had me hurling in disgust. Was that an attempt at
comic relief or was that supposed to be serious??? Either way: THIS IS A
SEQUEL TO HALLOWEEN MAN! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING???
Busta also had a few poseur tough guy lines he spat Michael’s way
that I just couldn’t swallow. Crud like “Trick or treat, motherfucker”.
I almost slit my wrists right there. *END
Now, it’s not really Busta’s fault that he didn’t fit in this movie.
The screenwriter (Larry Brand) or the director is to blame. I still
can’t believe how much his character got away with! All Michael had to
do was snap his neck like a twig and move on but nooooo! Busta wound up
making an ass of Michael Myers and that didn’t go down well with the
Myers “fanboy” piece of my soul.
the flick is very simple...maybe too simple. We only get one subplot that
has to do with Sara and some Don Juan kid (Merriman) flirting with her via
email (God, I missed Sam Loomis there), but even that angle isn't explored
to its fullest. Sure it wound up being a kool plot device during some of
the tenser stalk sequences but in the end, it didn’t amount to anything
on a character level (what happened to those crazy kids yo?). And then we
have the ending. Fuck me man; that had to be the most clichéd and boring
way I’ve ever seen Michael buy the plasma farm. The finale here made the
father popping out of the lake in "Friday
the 13th: Part 7" seem like a swell idea. What a waste!
NOTE: Why didn’t the teens just leave the house at any point?
Like jump out a window or something? Sure beats wrestling with Michael
Myers. Just a thought.
do have some positive jive to spit out about this sequel though. First
off, I relished seeing Laurie (Curtis) kicking it again. Her scene with
Michael is most likely the best in the film. Brad Loree (Michael) also
comes on strong as our masked fiend. The man IS scary! Also, since all of
the teen characters didn’t appeal to me, I was raving with aggressive
joy when Mikey started offing them in gruesome ways. I was rooting for our
white faced homie like I've never rooted for him before! I
kept yelling out loud much to the dismay of the other critics around me:
KILL THEM ALL, MIKE! KILL THEM!!!
murders here are way slick (loved the crushed head bit…very nice) and
mostly came through. Thank you for that. I also enjoyed the “Blair
Witch” type vibe the film put out with the web cams. Rosenthal
splits the screen 4 ways at times and the constant POV shots from the main
players gave this sequel a more involving aura that often made up for the
non-existent screenplay. Last but not least, I grooved on the small nods
to "Halloween" and "Halloween
2" and really got into the Myers vs Rudy (Thomas) knife battle in
the kitchen. Fun stuff!
overall, as a Halloween sequel...this one didn’t cut it. Loomis is gone,
Laurie is gone and there’s no story left to tell. Even
the mood is off! Did this sequel take place in Haddonfield, Illinois on
Halloween? Felt like Vancouver BC on any day to me. I personally think
this series is out of red gas. Shit, it could’ve been Richard Simmons
doing the slaying and the narrative wouldn’t have been hindered. As a
stand alone slasher, there is some easy fun to be had here, the murders
are kool, the mask is a mean machine again (I forgot all about that
Pokemon mask in H20) and the pace is quick (at 85 minutes, it better be).
But Halloween as I know it died with H20 and H8 just re-confirmed that the
jig is up. RIP Michael, unless this one also makes more money.