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The Arrow
I Come In Peace (1990)
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| Directed by: |
Craig
R. Baxley |
| Starring: |
Dolph
Lundgren/Jack |
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Brian
Benben/Laurence |
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Matthias
Hues/Bad Alien |
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Betsy Brantley/Diane
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| RATING
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PLOT-CRUNCH:
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An intergalactic alien drug dealer (Hues) comes to earth with
a peculiar MO on the fritz. The duder causes human beings to overdose on
smack and then sucks the endorphins out of their heads with the intention
of selling the fix on his home planet. Yup, you heard me...that’s the
plot and I’m sober as I write this. With Dolph Lundgren (playing
Jack), spastic Brian Benben (playing Laurence) and a space cop with bad
hair on his intergalactic tail, our “peaceful” alien friend has his
hands full. LET THE FIREWORKS BEGIN!
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THE
LOWDOWN: |
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"I Come in Peace" was like a glass of
sweet fruit punch for me. It numbed my brain and gave me a pleasurable freeze
high for an hour and half. Sure, it tasted like "The Hidden",
"The Terminator", "The Peacemaker" and "Predator 2" at times, but I
have to hand it to this silly
rabbit for giving the alien invader one hell of an original motive; he’s
a drug dealer here to harvest his narcotics through us! I haven’t heard that
one before! Props to whoever came up with that idea during what was most
likely a drunken binge.
The flick
also didn’t take itself too
seriously, which allowed me to enjoy it as a guilty pleasure. Taking into account the alien’s reasons
for
visiting earth; his ironic and often repeated line “I come in peace”
said it all when it came to this film’s intended tone. Now sure the
buddy cop quips between rule-breaker Jack (Lundgren) and tightly-wound FBI
Agent Smith (Benben) were a bit tired. And yes, the poor dialogue, the
predictable plot twists and the obligatory “love subplot” that wasted
screen time were nothing to drop my drawers over. But those elements were
not why this cheap trick should be viewed in the first place. It was all
about the sugar coating here!
If a fly by your pants pace, polished
visuals, endless glorious explosions, average car chases, groovy kills,
lots of shoot 'em up scenes and a couple of mano-a-mano fight sequences
crank your dial, you’re in for fun times at the Donut shop. If that’s
NOT enough to tweak your noggin, try nifty gadgets that go from a way kool
flying CD weapon, to a long metal tube that buries itself in its
victims’ chests, to a big-ass spike that rams into folks’ skulls.
Sounds like a quick snack worth the gas money yet? NO????? Well, did I
mention the alien’s incredibly powerful hand gun? Well, it goes beyond
phallic symbol status to blow up all kinds of shite in one burst. WOW!
You’ve got to respect that on so many levels. I know…I know…it
can’t hit the fleeing Lundgren for some reason, but hey, what can you do...if
he dies, the movie is over…so roll with it!
On the downside, the low IQ
way in which
the film tackled its subject matter did lessen the impact of its darker
and more ambitious ideas. At times, the flick also went overboard in the
cartoonish vibe with “barf” yuppie drug lords named “The White
Boys” stinking up the scenery, kooky characters pushing the limits of my
tolerance level (one played by Michael J Pollard…again) and “drama”
handled in the most childish of manners. I felt that with a more grounded
and mature execution like, let’s say, "The Terminator", the flick could’ve
been more than just a simple Saturday night stroke job. Maybe it
could’ve been a Sci-Fi/Horror classic! WHO KNOWS?
Having said all that, I
won’t be the a-hole who bitchslaps the movie for what it wasn’t.
I’ll pat it on the back for what it was. If you’re looking for a drawn-out exploration of human relationships, then get the hell out of here! You've
got no business being on this ride! If it’s a violent blow 'em up cheese
sandwich you’re craving, then you’re at the right Deli. Dig in and
don’t get any mayo on your shirt, you messy party fiends!
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| ACTING: |
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Dolph Lundgren (Jack) did fine as the instinctual cop, he was
actually at his best here acting-wise. He still needed diction lessons
though. Brian Benben (Laurence) played off Lundgren real well, but annoyed
me at times with his twerp shtick. Matthias Hues (Bad Alien) was one scary
mofo and emanated lots of menace. Betsy Brantley (Diane) does what she has
to do as the requisite love interest.
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| GORE: |
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It's body count time! We get throat slits by flying CDs galore,
a spike rammed in a couple of heads, lots of bullet wounds, an impaling
and even one exploding head.
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| T
& A: |
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We get a stripper showing off her implanted Betty Boops and
some hot mechanic chick showing nice cleavage via her bra. Male lovers get
maxed-up Lundgren shirtless.
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| DIRECTING: |
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The direction was tight and flashy with bluish lighting,
groovy CD POV shots (think “the ball” in "Phantasm"), slick angles,
creative scene transitions and action scenes that went from awesome to
average.
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| SOUNDTRACK: |
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The score is a synthesizer deal that was engaging half the
time and semi-tacky the other. We also get “Maggie” by XYZ and a rap
tune.
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| BOTTOM LINE: |
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"I Come in Peace" might've been more than a dumb ditz
on her knees, if handled differently, but as it is, it was still a swift,
violent and pleasant stroll down Lundgren lane. Big guns, big explosions,
big evil alien, big pecks, big talk, big tits and big guys kicking the
shit out of each other. You want a Diet Coke with that? I’ll pass…I
think I’m full until the sequel. Where’s my “I Come in Peace
2”???? COME ON!!!! I BE HUNGRY FOR MORE!
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| BULL'S EYE: |
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This flick was hot in Houston, Texas.
Initially, Lundgren was approached for
the role of the bad alien, but he wanted to play the cop instead. Matthias Hues
took over the role and did all of his own stunts since he was too big to
be doubled.
Craig R. Baxley also directed the fun
Brian Bozworth biker flick “Stone Cold”.
Read
my interview with Matthias Hues here
Discuss
this movie on The Arrow's HORROR BOARD
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