RA: Blood & Bone
Oct. 30, 2009
Tag Line: In A World Without Rules, He Makes His Own.
Directed by Ben Ramsey
Starring Michael Jai White, Julian Sands, Eamonn Walker, Dante Basco
THE
PLAN: Recently released from prison, Bones (Michael Jai White) takes the world of underground street fighting by storm. When he's not kicking ass, he's playing chess, busting out some Thai Chi ROAD HOUSE-style, and making good on a promise he made in prison.
THE KILL: In the same vein as Jean-Claude Van Damme's LIONHEART, BLOOD AND BONE shows us what a skilled martial artist can do for some cold-hard cash: fight in sanctioned street-fighting matches, and win every time. For guys like JCVD and Michael Jai White (MJW), they make it look easy, effortless, and second nature. For the rest of us, we'd be dead by the end of the first match.
What makes movies like this fun to watch is how effortless these guys seem to bust out their ass-kicking skills. BLOOD AND BONES is the first MJW flick I've sat down with, and holy hell is this one guy to be reckoned with! He's built like Stallone with the demure of Dolph Lundgren and the explosive ferocity of Jet Li. He's 100% soft-spoken badass, and I can't wait to check out what else this dude has to offer! If he busted out on the scene in the late 80s, he would of kicked the crap outta actions stars like Steven Seagal and Wesley Snipes. He's that good.
The film's fighting scenes are all top-notch entertainment, showcasing MJW's impressive karate moves. He's so fast and fluid that it almost looked like the guy was computer animated--especially considering his signature move is jumping and delivering a couple of kicks and maybe a punch for good measure before landing back on the ground. I don't know if you can spell out badass in any other way.
A good fighter needs a good handler, and the smooth talkin' Pinball (Dante Basco) delivers as the film's comic relief. His chatty persona is both witty and fun, if not on the corny side. With like lines like "Hello motherf*ckers and motherf*ckettes," what's not to love?
In terms of a major villain, BLOOD AND BONES offers the smooth talking Eamonn Walker, a fancy-suit wearing gangster with deep pockets and a fascination with Genghis Khan. But underneath his cool demeanor is a loose cannon of rage . While he's certainly no match for MJW in terms of brawns or fighting skills, the guy does provide an entertaining bad guy that you can't wait see go down at the end. WARLOCK: THE ARMAGEDDON fans might also get a kick out of Julian Sands as the head of the gangster community. I only wish his role was a bit bigger--that guy is awesome.
The way of REEL ACTION seems to be coming out of the Straight to DVD circuit rather than the stuff that's coming out on the big screen. We have a new action hero in MJW, who has the macho acting chops and the ass-kicking fighting skills to take him far and wide in the action genre. BLOOD AND BONE was an entertaining and fun little movie to catch on the small screen, and might have made it to the REEL ACTION Hall of Fame if it weren't for its lack of T&A, one-liners, and high body count. The only time the action seemed to fall apart is when MJW busts out a hand cannon and delivers a couple of body bags. But for a fight movie, BLOOD AND BONES has what it takes to deliver the action and warrant a watch.
Trailer for BLOOD AND BONE!
TOP DEATH: While there's a shitload of ass-kicking, the actual deaths are all pretty weaksauce. One fighter (known as The Hammer) does beat the life out of one guy in the ring that's not only bloody, but somewhat hard to watch.
TOP ACTION SCENE: The opening sequence has Bone versus a gang of prison inmates--all of which he easily beats the tar out of with a number of flying spin-kicks that will have you cheering for more.
They call him Bone because that's what he Breaks!
TOP HOMOEROTIC MOMENT: There's some prison-sex action that's satisfying to watch. Just remember to stay tuned through the credits to catch it. MJW is all ladies-man as Bone.
FEMALE EXPLOITATION: Angela and The Nanny are both lookers, but neither show off skin (a damn shame too). The real money goes to a couple of chick-fighters beating the tar outta each other. They're both hot, and they both can fight, making them even hotter.
TOP LINE/DIALOGUE:
Bone: (after f*cking up five dudes at once) I need you to deliver a message. I want you tell every motherf*cker behind these walls that if they ever get the notion to f*ck with me. Don't.
DRINKING GAME: Every time Bone kicks or punches while jumping, you gotta drink!
TRIVIA: I went to junior high and high school with Dante Basco (Pinball)'s cousin.
BLOOD AND BONE's kick-ass opening sequence.
3:24AM on 11/02/2009