Top 10: Tit Shots #2
Jan. 26, 2007
Written By Serena Whitney:
Topless females in horror movies have become a staple in the genre. In a way, boob shots in horror have not only become overly gratuitous, they have also become obligatory. If a horror movie seems to avoid shooting any female nudity in it, it will be the first thing I will notice after watching the film.
Although, I find that concept very refreshing, a lot of horror fans (particularly male ones) embrace and still welcome the glimpses of female nudity that move the plot of the story as much as Halle Berry’s topless scene moved the plot in Swordfish. I wouldn’t mind these shots so much if more horror films gave women some treats as well. (“Tit for Tat, yo!”)
I wanted to kick myself in the ass for not thinking of this top ten topic sooner, but then I realized why I stayed away from it in the first place. Picking just TEN scenes with gratuitous tit shots is extremely hard, for these scenes are a dime a dozen. Although, I managed to pick ten scenes that will forever be embedded in my memory. Use the spitting bullets section to discuss others!
WARNING - SOME TITTIES SPOILERS AHEAD!
5. Night of the Demons
There are tons of unanswered questions to movies I think about to this very day. Such as, how DOES one use the three seashells in Demolition Man? How come I can watch Mario Van Peebles get eaten by the shark in Jaws:The Revenge, and watch the film on television months later and he miraculously manages to escape the jaws of Jaws? But, more importantly, ‘Why the f*ck does a possessed Linnea Quigley shove a lipstick in her nipple in Night of the Demons? That scene was more random then any cut away scene in the Family Guy series.
4. Seed of Chucky
In the previous installment, we see Chucky and Tiffany get it on. (Which was probably one of the most embarrassing scenes I’ve ever had to sit through) However, in Seed of Chucky, there’s a scene when Chucky needs to jerk off in a cup to inseminate Jennifer Tilly. (I can’t believe I saw this in theatres) To help him, Tiffany shows him her big, shiny, plastic tits. Who the hell thought that was sexy and necessary? Maybe five-year-old boys who like to strip the clothes off their sisters’ Barbie dolls, but other than that...NOBODY DOES! Arrow two cents: Not sexy but f*cking funny to me!
3.
Silent Night Deadly Night
This particular scene I mentioned in one of my first top tens, but if I didn’t mention it again for this one, I would sure hear about it later. Again, Linnea Quigley (the queen of gratuitous tit shots) is doing what she does best, and showing off her breasts. This time, she answers the front door in nothing but booty shorts. I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again....Russ Meyer must have been a special guest director that day!
2.
NOTLD 3D
I was really not too impressed with the 3-D effects in this second remake to George Romero’s classic. The only time the 3-D effects truly looked real were when a girl’s boobs were onscreen and when people were smoking big, fat blunts. While I was busy trying to ignore the big breasts in my face, and envying the characters with blunts in their hands, I saw many men in the audience squeeze the air for the pretend boobies. (Simple Creatures!)
1.
Halloween
“See anything you like?” Well, not me, but millions of men did. P.J. Soles may not be involved in the most outrageous tit shot, but she certainly has the all time classic tit shot shown in a horror film. For some reason, that scene was able to shock viewers and inspire other film makers to show more nudity in their movies. She must be so proud. (Again...note the sarcasm.)
6:37PM on 01/29/2007