Top 10: killer dolls #2
Jul. 6, 2007
Since I was little, any horror films involving killer dolls have always creeped me out. Scenes involving batteries falling out of a “Good Guy” box, dolls chasing women with huge butcher knives, and a doll puking up deadly leeches have forever been embedded in my memory.
Lord knows why people like myself get scared while watching absurd horror movies involving dolls that kill. Maybe it’s the sound of the pitter-patter of their feet as they chase their victims, or the unnaturally grotesque emotions they are able to express on their plastic/porcelain/rubber faces, or maybe it’s because they’re able to hide and pop out anywhere. (My answer is “all of the above.”)
So here are my top choices of serial killing objects that were “made in Taiwan” that have freaked me out more than movies involving real flesh and blood serial killers.
WARNING - SOME SPOILERS AHEAD!
5. Dead Silence
I may not be the biggest fan on this year’s Dead Silence, but I can’t deny the fact that this horror flick had some truly tense and suspenseful moments in it. What frightened me the most were the subtle scares involving Billy the dummy blink and move his head. Anticipating when he was going to come alive was actually far more frightening than when all the other dolls eventually do come to life. Honestly, if I had seen that doll at my doorstep, I would have written the words, ‘RETURN TO SENDER’ in huge writing on the package.
4. Poltergeist
This movie is to blame for being the catalyst to creating a fear of clowns for many people I know. I can’t believe how freaked out I was when I saw Robbie get strangled and dragged under the bed by the possessed clown doll. It still gives me chills. In fact, even the spoof of the scene in Scary Movie 2 creeped me out. (Sad, I know!)
3.
Puppetmaster/Demonic Toys series
I haven’t seen many of the Puppet Master series, because Blade, Pinhead, and Ms. Leech scared the living sh*t out of me when I was little. However, I will definitely be borrowing the boxset from one of friends, because from what I hear, I’m missing out big time! As embarrassed as I am to say this, I was more of a fan of the ludicrous follow up series, Demonic Toys. I can never get enough of Baby Oopsy Daisy! Watch Puppet Master Vs Demonic Toys if you want to see who’s the strongest killing team.
2.
Trilogy of Terror
I’m going to be honest and say this movie did not scare me at all. I laughed so hard throughout the “Amelia” segment with Karen Black running for her life from the armed Zuni Hunter doll. Then I remembered I watched this dated film for the first time only a few years ago. Thirty years ago, this apparently was some scary sh*t! Every person I know around my mother’s age who has seen this made for television anthology movie had severe nightmares as a kid. In fact, a lot of them usually re-enact the doll’s movements when explaining the film to me. I still lie and tell people I haven’t seen it, just to see how idiotic they look when “explaining” it to me over and over again. (It never gets old!)
1.
Child's Play franchise
Was this really a surprise? Everyone knows Chucky is the ultimate bad ass when it comes to killer dolls. He is one the great horror villains to appear onscreen, and all of the Child’s Play movies had a theatrical run, proving that people can’t get enough of the crude, rude and hilarious killing machine! (But, after the last one, they really could stop making them now.)
8:15AM on 07/06/2007