This flick was based on unorthodox and happy-go-drug user French author Maurice G. Dantec’s 1993 novel “La Sirene Rouge”. For some peculiar reason that only my shrink (who also happens to be my imaginary friend) knows for certain, I expected a horror/thriller in the same vein as "Se7en" when slapping this disc into my DVD player. Where the hell did I get that assumption? NOTE TO SELF: Just say no. So yes, I was surprised when I got a slack version of "The Professional" (or "Leon", if you prefer) instead.

"La Sirene Rouge" kicked off with a physical/emotional bang and then went on to randomly entertain throughout. I adored the spiced-up premise, the pleasant to the eye settings and the taut action bits. Wait till you see that hotel room shootout! It totally bowled me over via its use of lighting, silence and psychotic shots. Think the “hotel room” siege from "The Professional"...but on acid. WOW! Yes, you guessed it, my heaviest anchor to this canoe ride was unquestionably director Megaton’s (no relation to the groovy Decepticon leader) visual panache. In my opinion, a first-class director manages to stir the viewer via the images he puts out and this dude did just that flamboyantly. Granted, the shoe-polish kind of kicked into under-drive during the middle block, but the rest was pure aesthetically mesmerizing gold. NICE! The stellar casting was also a big plus when it came to this baby crying the right tune. Jean-Marc Barre (Hugo), in particular, excelled as the quiet, yet deadly, mercenary. I loved to love him! Young Alexandra Negrao (Alice) gave a charming show too, while hottie Asia Argento (Anita) owned the screen in a rare understated and plain-girl type role. GOOD STUFF!

Where “La Sirene Rouge” faltered is that it brought up a lot of exciting themes and subplots, but never ran with them far enough to whoop me silly to the max. Hugo’s self-loathing wasn’t felt enough, the “snuff” angle was too vague, the murderous mother felt like a cartoon (too bad, she was one sick dame), the Asia Argento part was underwritten, while the father/daughter type relationship Hugo and Alice shared should’ve gone further. In effect, the intended emotional “bang” the narrative was supposed to deliver never fully happened for me. Moreover, it didn’t help matters that the pacing was at times “off” and that the story was a tad all over the place. Some tightening up was needed! Lastly, although minor, I have to get this off my battle-axe...that Don Juan Portuguese cop that wouldn’t take “no” for an answer (yes, she said no, champ…like 3 times!) didn’t vanish out the movie quickly enough for my liking. What an annoying donkey!

"La Sirene Rouge” was released theatrically in France in 2002 and is now (2004) available in North America via Lion's Gate Films (under the title "Red Siren").

The North American box cover art of this film features Asia Argento looking sexy and brandishing a gun. Don’t let the cover fool ya though, Argento’s role in the flick is a passive one and it's Jean-Marc Barr who is doing the ass kicking.