Sinning oughta be saved for much more important things.-McBurney
Late Director Don Siegel left quite a legacy of fine films behind. He was the lad behind the original
Invasion of the Body Snatchers (in 1956) and he also blessed us with the lean & mean cop thriller
Dirty Harry… to name but a few. He and Clint “Genius” Eastwood have worked together on a multitude of cinematic projects; but the Gothic thriller The Beguiled (which Spiegel admitted was his favorite of all his films) was and still is criminally overlooked. This review is my humble “pitch in” to rectify that.
Although “The Beguiled” worked as a metaphor for the strain between the North and the South during the American Civil War, I can’t say that the angle stimulated me much. I’m not a history buff and the story could’ve taken place in a Blade Runner like future for all I cared. The big German Shepard balls the flick sported for its time on the other end; now that made it happen for me! Sexual repression, bisexuality and hints of incest were all themes addressed through this trek and I for one was lapping them up like Chuck Sheen (circa his cocaine days) at a Sushi party that serves no Sushi, if ya know what I mean. And when it wasn’t playing that game to a “F” (for f*ck yeah); the flick was reeling me in via its gripping depiction of a fierce battle of the sexes. I so adored the ambiguity in the male/females characters which displayed traits of both good and evil. Nothing was clear cut! It was left up to us to choose whom we should root for! Unfortunately, a lot of folks mis-interpreted that "shades of grey" approach at the time, calling the flick mysoginist and all. Actually; famous critic Karyn Kay stated in her Beguiled review:
“Don Siegel hates women –and fears them”. As a rebuttal; jerk-off John Fallon wrote in is his review;
“Karyn, lose the vibrator, get out of the house and date some already!” That’s just how it is! NEVER UNDERESTIMATE A WOMAN! They’re craftier than us dumbo men will ever be! It’s just a fact!
The film’s knack at sucker punching left and right was another one of its strong suits. The sly first hour didn’t prepare me for the awfulness to come and in consequence; when the horror eventually kicked in, I was severely bitch-slapped. Ouch! I felt that! It left a freaking mark! In fact, I caught myself wincing like a constipated geizer during one particularly disgusting bit. That was more than most recent/flimsy “gore films” (Pssst…
Murder Set Pieces
) have done for me lately. THANK YOU! With all that said; my focal treat throughout was witnessing Clint Eastwood tackle a role unlike the ones he played before or after! Mr. Malpaso handled his charming, yet conniving, sexist and aggressive part in such a captivating fashion that I wound up rooting for him like a rooster with a hard on in a Hen house. I was having a blast witnessing young Clint "hunt them panties” with skills that would put Trent from Swingers to shame. This was Eastwood stepping out of his usual type casting; this was Eastwood going beyond his “sheer, magnetic presence”, this was Eastwood at his utmost best! WOW! Double down all that sweetness with some arresting imagery via Siegel’s atmospheric eye behind the camera, some genuinely tense moments and all around stronger than “Popeye on a Spinach O.D.” performances and you get a heavy hitter that should be recognized.
On the “oops I messed up” side of things; the flick failed me once where it had a character’ “change his/her tune” in the blink of a blink to accommodate the last plot twist. I didn’t fully buy it and thought it to be an illogical move. Having said that, that bump in the road didn’t come close in hindering my overall enjoyment of this exceptional picture. The Beguiled was a unique sit down, one laced with intelligence, class, unsettling imagery and braveness when it came to delving into the darker corners of the human psyche. It also put out a valuable lesson; although I try to live by the great
Frank T.J. Mackey's (from Magnolia) law:
"Respect the cock... and tame the cunt." If you try to tame too many pussycats at the same time; they'll eat you alive sooner or later. Write that down guys; it's my mantra of the day. Now, sit down with The Clint man and let him show you how it’s done…OLD SCHOOL!
Episode #32
