The Arrow reviews the "They" screenplay

The Arrow's "THEY" script review

INTRODUCTION: "THEY" was screenwriter Brendan Hood's first script to go theatrical. Unfortunately, it wasn't his screenplay that made it to the big screen. Five percent of the "THEY" you saw onscreen is Hood's and the other 95 percent belongs to the producers, their wives, mistresses, pets, gimps, chimps...or whoever sunk their claws in there to give the script a massive and detrimental face lift. Let's find out about the real THEY.

PLOT CRUNCH: Having just graduated College, a group of friends drive up to a cabin on a dark and creepy night with some "R&R" in mind. On their way there, they accidentally hit a dog with their car. When they check out the road kill more closely, they discover that the beast has mechanical parts imbued into its carcass. This peculiar mishap triggers our heroes' gradual discovery of the existence of "THEY"; flesh and metal entities, that not only are able to tamper with our reality, but who also use human beings as spare parts to prolong their existence on our wretched planet. Who are these creatures roaming about our society? Who are "THEY"?

LOWDOWN: I read the "THEY" screenplay on Christmas day, surrounded by family members prowling about, stuffing their fat faces with dead turkey flesh. God, I hate Christmas and all the fake sentiments that comes with it. Thankfully, I got so absorbed by this screenplay that everything around me disappeared and all that existed was the world of the script.

"THEY" had me firmly in its tight grasp the whole way with its ambitious, eerie and quite twisted storyline. You've REALLY gotta wonder about the producers who handled this script. They read the novel material, bought the property (most likely because they liked it) and then went on to re-write a whole new script with it. What's the damn point? If they really wanted a tale about night terrors, why didn't they just write their own, instead of paying lots of dough for a script that they blatantly pissed on? It would've been cheaper that way, fellows. COME ON! Sometimes "Hollywood" and the mentality within it doesn't make an ounce of sense to me. This is one of those times.

Now although "THEY", the script, does sport scenes where closet doors open by themselves or where things go bump in the night, it hardly has anything to do with "night terrors" that the final movie portrayed. Here, these devices are used to actually complement and build upon something way bigger. The script toyed with my mind and I loved every second of it. If it wasn't the pleasurable jabs at reality and its perception confusing me, it was the plays on identity and the frightening notion that comes with having it erased. I also truly relished the mind rape I got when it came to one particular character sporting a Superman logo tattoo. The mystery surrounding this character and the way he's communicated throughout the script totally had me reeled in and had me asking so many questions. When the bomb eventually dropped and the revelation of who this character really was, put out...I was blown away. NICE!! I relished the twist like a hooker earning double her pay for one hand job gig.

The potent genre ideas didn't stop there. The script successfully managed to tap into the anxiety, confusion and the terror of the insane situation at hand. I was in the lead character's shoes the whole way, felt the graduating isolation she went through hardcore and got beaten down by her disorientation. Creature-wise, the metal and flesh human-like baddies were a chilling concoction. Every time one of those beasties would display its metal teeth via an evil grin, I'd get tingles down my spine (or was it the smell of a dead bird in the room?). The script was also smart enough to capitalize on its baddies' "make" to layer the narrative with even more baffling and engrossing elements (the random odd piece of metal found by the lead characters had me saying..."What??"). Add to all that, a skillful way of connecting the supernatural shenanigans to a reality based theme (vagrancy) and you get a hard-hitting genre gem from every angle. Next time I see an old homeless lady raving about madly on a street corner, I'll think twice about her story...maybe THEY got to her, maybe she's really my sister and I've been erased! Great concept, I loved it!

Yes, some of the script's elements did make it in the theatrical cut, but since they were part of a different whole, they didn't wind up having the same impact. Much like in the film, the script also displayed:

- A subway setting used for fearful games
- An elevator used in a stalk sequence
- A subplot involving tracking devices found in human hosts ( it made more sense in the script and brought more to the storyline)
- Same bits of dialogue with the more memorable being the "signs" to look for to know that "THEY" are near (again, it made more sense in the script, those hints are actually used to "up" suspense in later scenes where in the theatrical version, the signs are basically stated early on and then apart from some random flickering lights, mostly ignored)
- The characters also have the same names from script to film, even though they're totally different people.

Now on the down side script-wise, much like its theatrical counterpart, I found the characters of Terry and Sam to be a tad too undeveloped. I never really got to know much about them before the fact and they were mostly defined in the second act by their drastic actions in regards to THEY coming to get them. Getting to know them more in-depth earlier, would've helped increase the sympathy and tension factor in regards to their fates. Another minor peeve I had with the script was that even though I got more insight as to THEY's "raison d'etre" and their motivations than I got from the cinematic version's one track night terrors, I still would've liked a more concrete explanation as to who they were and where THEY came from? I mean...are they aliens, ghosts, my creditors? What the hell are THEY? To be fair, their somewhat vague nature did bring lots of mystery to the piece and definitely upped the fear factor I had in regards to the creatures and the happenings which they provoked. It's a double-edged machete on that one.

In the end, "THEY" the screenplay, was a somber, horrific and ambitious genre script that aimed higher than the norm in terms of quality and challenging its audience. Maybe it was just too "ballsy" and "out there" for "the powers that be" to handle. That would surely explain why they went on to butcher it and dumb it down like tramps mating in the mud. What a freaking shame!

BOTTOM LINE: THEY was an absorbing read from page one to its unapologetically bleak ending. It was quite a ride, filled with suspense, mystery and engaging horror set pieces. I for one loved it way more than the "generic" film that made it to the big screen. In a perfect world, THEY would erase the theatrical cut from our minds and have somebody give it a real shot with the real story found in this solid script. What were the producers drinking? Battery Acid? If you can't take the heat, GET OUT OF THE HORROR KITCHEN! What's wrong with people? Being in Brendan's shoes, I'd be going mad at the moment and thoughts of disgruntled "postal worker" behavior would be racing through my mind.

Having said that, THEY the script is so different than its cinematic counterpart, that it could actually be made into a different movie altogether. I don't know who owns the rights to the script or what legal garbage is out there, but in a perfect world, THEY the script would make its way on the screen as-is. It's a very strong screenplay, unique and simply terrifying. Great work, Mr. producers! It's nice to see the respect that screenwriters get in the biz at times. When will producers put their egos (and "bottom line" reasonings) aside and accept that they are NOT artists? Leave the creative aspects to the writers already and keep to your damn job! This is another case of "suits" ruining yet another potentially good horror movie we could've witnessed on-screen.

I didn't find any swimming pool stalk sequences here, the lead wasn't a psychology major, nobody's friend committed suicide, nobody had a diary, there's wasn't one mental institution in sight and Wes Craven's name had nothing to do with anything (just like the film).