The marketing angle for this flick was that it was real. Like really real.
It was supposed to hit theaters in September 2000. JoBlo and I were in
cahoots with the studio to organize a give-away contest, interviews with the
stars, etc.. The next thing you know, the studio stops responding to us and a month
later I learned that the movie was going straight to video. Now I know
The only real thing
about this film is that it’s a blatant "Blair Witch" rip-off.
The rest is so fake that I can’t imagine how they thought they would
fool the public in believing otherwise.
The film lifts many
things from Blair Witch: The house has a horrible history (like the
Burkitsville woods) and they bring in "real" people to talk
about it "interview" style in front of the camera. All the
interviews reek of phoniness. Even the ghost expert that goes by name of
Troy Taylor felt phony and he’s the real thing! (or is he?)
Then there’s the
whole camcorder thing . The f**kup here is that there are many scenes
where it’s impossible that the "actor" filmed himself from
that angle, especially in the action scenes. It's obvious that there’s a
cameraman there with his own equipment. The problem is that in those
scenes "the actors" are supposed to be alone.
The film plods along
slowly with flat humor and way too many "surround ourselves by the
white light" bullcrap from the psychic. She’s the worst character
in the film and I just wanted to slap her. She never shuts up!!!
The occasional boo
scares are tossed in (you bet a cat leaps out…how original), a chair
flies, a ouija board is pulled out (the stop button almost came into play)
and lots of prayers are chanted?!? We also get a "Blair Witch"
like confession to the camera courtesy of Miss Charap. The close up gave
me goose bumps. She’s just not pretty to look at that close. BORING…
The actors have no
chemistry and they don’t feel like real people. Sometimes their actions
are trivial. Example: Larson is the yelping chicken shite the whole time
but when stuff starts falling down a chimney, she’s the first to stick
her head in there to see wassup. Felt very out of character.
All of the teens are
self-absorbed a-holes. The "Blair Witch" kids also had their
a-hole moments but here it’s all the time. Did they want us to dislike
these actors? If that was the point, mission accomplished.
The film does come to
life in its last 10 minutes and I will admit feeling some tension. But
that sole positive aspect is not enough to recommend the film. Instead of
concentrating on trying to capitalize on Blair Witch’s success they
should have taken the story (which is actually interesting, I loved the
legend) and filmed it as a real film, with real directing and real actors.
I’m sure it would have turned out better than this pile of spit.
Now let's tune in
to The Arrow’s Experiment…