"Can I ask ya something, Padre? When I was kicking your ass back there...you get a little wood?"— Jack Crowe

This is yet another one of John Carpenter’s babies that got spanked by the critics and the people upon its release. And yes, once again I hold my head in confusion, knock back a few and wonder "why, oh why"? What did people expect? An in-depth look at the workings of the human spirit? It’s a badass vampire flick yo, not "Remains Of The Day"! 

Sometimes I find great pleasure in the simplest things. This puppy’s first half hour is all about crazy fight sequences and extreme violence, that’s a point right there. But although I mucho dug the plasma-soaked goodies, what really slapped an earnest smile on my face was one man, a great man at that…his name: Jimmy fuckin' Woods. Don’t let his average size fool ya (I don’t mean his pecker), Woods’ Jack Crow has to be one the toughest on-screen ass kickers that I’ve seen in a while and his no bull attitude had me grinning like a high society hooker getting paid. Who doesn’t want to see Jimmy Woods sporting a slick leather jacket bitch slap a priest and then ask him if he got a hard on out of it? I freaking cracked up and Woods’ shtick is one of the main reasons that I really enjoyed this flick throughout.

Now I’ve heard folks complain about the midsection of this film, saying that it bored them. Personally, although the action does tone down after the first plot point, I still found lots of meat to sink my teeth in. The relationship between Woods and Baldwin brought with it the always-appreciated theme of friendship. The over-stylized images that Carpenter slapped my way (loved the Vamps coming out of the ground bit) also had me foaming. The back and forth between Woods and Guinee (that’s Padre to you) kept me engaged, the witty dialogue/one-liners had me rolling in laughter and the Katrina (Lee) turning subplot was engaging and very well handled. Let me take a moment on that subplot. I have to give props to Carpenter for delivering that angle of the story with class and a penchant towards momentum. To see how easily the "chick turning" business could have been messed up, rent "The Forsaken" (or don’t, actually), since it sports the exact same subplot but delivers it in a mucho clumsy way.

Now I do have some qualms with the flick though. First and foremost, the ending failed to be as exciting as the opening. Don’t get me wrong, it's still enjoyable but I expected more from it. It felt like they ran out of money when they got to it and what should’ve been a graphic vampire slaughter, wound up being a quick montage that didn’t quench my thirst. I also didn’t really care about that whole “cross” thang, would’ve liked more insight into the whole Vatican involvement aspect and thought that the lead Vamp died way too easily.

Distributor: Sony /Columbia

IMAGE: The anamorphic Widescreen 2.35:1 image was on and off. Although acceptable overall, we get some grain, fuzziness and scratches at times.

SOUND: The Dolby Digital 5.1 sound is adequate and served the film well, especially when it came to the booming score. There’s also a DTS Surround Sound Option.

The film was shot in Santa Fe, Santa Fe County and New Mexico, USA.

A sequel to "Vampires" should be hitting the video stores soon. It’s called "Vampires: Los Muertos", it stars Jon Bon Jovi and is directed by Tommy Lee Wallace ("Fright Night 2"). Tim Guniee returns in the sequel.