The rules for the "The Village" should’ve been: 1) Let the bad color not be seen. It attracts them. 2) Never enter the woods. That is where they wait. 3) Heed the warning bell, for they are coming. 4) If you’re going to slap heavy twists and turns in a movie, don’t give them up too soon and make sure they hold up logically. Having loved all of M. Night’s emotional, genre-bending, gray matter stimulants, I was anxious to see his next “can you guess my game?” creation. Although not a complete disaster, this was easily M’s weakest slight of hand.

It all began mucho promisingly with an engrossing initial premise and a genuinely spooky setting. The first 40 minutes of the flick truly kept me within its iron fist. The acting in the shack was stellar, the poetic feel endearing, the suspense laid on thick, the cinematography sumptuous while M’s directorial flair was cranked up to “wow”. In my book of rules, the man is a genius when it comes to orchestrating tension, milking momentum and moving you via his visuals. Perfect example: there’s this one specific scene in the film that involved a threatening creature and the character of Ivy (Howard) extending her arm outside a doorway. That bit and its gripping slow-motion/silent outcome sent an army of shivers down half my spine, pit-stopping to my heart, to then travel down the rest of my spine. Those arresting two minutes alone were better than half of the full length feature films I’ve seen this summer. Now that’s directing!

The flick fared just as well on a human level with an appealing cast all around (go Billy Hurt...go!) upping my involvement in the picture. Joaquin Phoenix and Bryce Howard, in particular, possessed the screen via the wonderful chemistry that they shared. Their gripping bond was my anchor to this story and Bryce’s presence specifically, kept me in the game even when the pacing of the affair shifted into “turtle mode”. Man, was I moved by the romantic angle here! Maybe I was having a "high hormone" day, or I was just feeling all "Hallmark" and shite, but I got "veklempt" a few times on this run. I have to single out the "porch sequence" as one of the heavy "sniff sniff" moments that got to me. That one was one for the mushy books of records! Talk about a flawless execution of an “ahhh” moment! Yes, I’m a sucker for that lovey-dovey shit! Why? Because it’s so rare to find in this insecurity-driven, shit hole of a society. To top all of this quality off, I genuinely grooved on the psychological layers that the late “big bad twist” brought to the whole. Once all the cards were on the table, I picked up on a slew of interesting themes and clues that I didn’t perceive while I was kept in the dark by M Night’s shenanigans. Good stuff!

Alas, much to my dismay, "The Village" proceeded to fall apart at the seams at about the halfway mark. Although the chain of events still kept my interest (even with its slow pace), the flick’s constant decline in intelligence grated me. I loathe it when spins are solely slapped in a movie  to obviously force the narrative in one direction or to showcase "scary” moments at the expense of common sense. "The Village" had too many of those devices and made me feel like it was underestimating my IQ level. As for the big M. Night “I’ll whoop you sucka”  final sucker punch…well, I dug it in theory. It was a slick concept, but in hindsight, it revealed way too many gaps in logic in what preceded it and asked too much suspension of disbelief from my jaded ass for it to have total impact on me.

Kirsten Dunst was almost Ivy and Ashton Kutcher  almost got a key role in the flick...THANK GOD that didn't happen!