First off, I know PARANORMAL ACTIVITY is useless and all, and this does a good job at pointing this out, but it's hardly groundbreaking news and a non-funny revamp stocked to the eyeballs with tacky shout outs is not the answer. References to BLACK SWAN, THE HUNGER GAMES, ABRAHAM LINCOLN VAMPIRE HUNTER and a depressing pot shot at Bane are all in terrible taste and just plain stink. Add to that, fart jokes, peeing in a toilet until it overflows and a gay dude having sex with the robotic pool cleaner and you've got a yawn factory that could put even the most caffeine induced writer to sleep in no time flat (I needed two Red Bull to keep my eyes open).
30 NIGHTS OF PARANORMAL ACTIVITY WITH THE DEVIL INSIDE THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO sucks sweaty donkey balls. There is absolutely nothing of worth here. Even the chick watching the found footage tape (which is the film) says it's a piece of shit when it's over. She ain't kiddin. I don't want to see a midget's penis in popcorn, or the ripping off of the Ghostbuster's Ghost Trap by a couple wiener retards. Clearly nothing is sacred or taboo anymore, and yes, I'm cool with that if it's at least watchable, but in this case it's not. Sure, I enjoyed the two hot naked chicks making out in shower, but boobs just aren't enough these days (god help me for saying that). I actually need more to be entertained.
Previews: There are a couple of worthless trailers to be found floating around in this pot of shit stew.
Extra Tidbit: I'll give it half a star because the chicks in the shower had nice racks.