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Allan Quatermain and the Lost City of Gold
DVD disk
Sep 26, 2004 By: The Shootin Surgeon
Allan Quatermain and the Lost City of Gold order
Director:
Gary Nelson

Actors:
Richard Chamberlain
Sharon Stone
James Earl Jones

Rating:
Movie:
Extras:
Overall:

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WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
Adventurer Allan Quatermain (Chamberlain) teams up with his spunky fiancée Jesse (Stone), a Warrior king (Jones) and a crooked magician (Richard Donner) in an African search for his missing brother who has followed an ancient road to a lost City of Gold.
IS IT A GOOD MOVIE?
Although not actually as horrible as it has been made out to be, this is still a pretty weak offering in terms of adventure flicks, but rescued by falling into the elusive "fun cheese" category. Led by Richard Chamberlain down the path of b-grade acting, iffy effects and a plot/script combination that make most Archie comics seem like high literature by comparison, this film is a quick, short riot to watch if only to make your eyes bulge out in disbelief at the thought that this was supposed to capitalize on the classic Indiana Jones flicks. The first sight of Chamberlain hamming it up on screen as if he'd been cross-bred from William Shatner and Dame Edna is enough to make you wonder how this man can manage an escape from a Barbra Streisand fan convention, let alone a band of African cannibals bent on devouring him.

The rest is a mercifully short blend of James Earl Jones seemingly leaping forward in time as Michael Clarke Duncan in THE SCORPION KING and Sharon Stone looking hot despite keeping her pants on. Only five years later, she would perform history's most famous uncrossing of legs in BASIC INSTINCT and be forever cemented in both movie history and that sick little dark corner of my mind. The homerun hitter for me though was Henry Silva (one of my faves from the original OCEAN'S ELEVEN) who played filmdom's least intimidating bad guy. Now picture this: you're in the middle of a lost African civilization at the end of the 19th century and their mystic leader, their high-priest somehow speaks with a southern accent and has hair that reminds you of a failed experiment involving the genetic manipulation of Klaus Meine of The Scorpions, Peter Frampton and some Greek dude with whom I went to high school. It's worth watching this flick just for this dude! Overall, this is one of those films you can refer to as "craptastic". It's absolute crap, but it's a riot to watch simply for the pleasure of rolling your eyes and remembering the eighties.
THE EXTRAS
Sadly, there's nothing here, but the film's original Theatrical Trailer. This is one of those guilty-pleasure movies on which you'd love to see the actors today explain what they were thinking.
FINAL DIAGNOSIS
Unless you're totally overtaken by some strange Dick Chamberlain fetish, I suggest you keep this as the 3rd rental on a 3-for-1 night and have a laugh with it. It's bad, yet not horrid, and does bring a smile to your face.
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