Ballistic: Ecks VS Sever
WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
Antonio Banderas is Ecks, an ex-FBI Agent who lost his wife. Lucy Liu is Sever, a disgruntled Special Agent looking to settle a personal score. Both individuals collide in an array of guns, martial arts fights, car crashes and grandiose explosions. The rest of the plot is inconsequential. All you need to know is that shite blows up real good. Like REAL GOOD! Load up the M-60 and keep your eyes on that Liu derriere!
IS IT A GOOD MOVIE?
It's like this, guys: the story here is a mess, the plot is filled with holes and the limits of plausibility are pushed more than once. If youíre craving a strong narrative, LOOK ELSEWHERE! If it's vacuous entertainment youíre in the mood to chew on, read on. The good news for us action junkies is: there isnít much ďplot scenesĒ in here to begin with. This flick is basically a 90-minute excuse to relentlessly showcase enthralling action set pieces one after the other through an uber-polished, smoke-machine-heavy, slow motion whoring visual style. Nothing wrong with that! If you have a gun fetish, strap on your seat belt, because itís all about artillery here. Yippee! As for the over the top mayhem scenes, well, they went from awesome to decent to so-so (was it me or was the motorcycle chase TOO SLOW?). But overall, they were all a major trip to behold on some level and yes...I had a knee-slapping good time!
Hands down, this had to be one of the more effortless movies Iíve ever had to sit through. The pace is lightning fast, the dialogue is practically absent and the stylistic images kept me engaged while providing me with plenty an eyeful. Now I did have to bear with the tacky soundtrack that sometimes went mucho sour in a ďhome synthesizer dealĒ kind of way and the blonde bad guy did get on my freakin' nerves, but the sight of Banderasí stubble, cool threads and intense stare made up for that. As for the rest of the filmís flaws, Lucy Liu shutting up and kicking all kinds of ass in a bootie shaped tight leather outfit, somewhat made up them too. Think about it, can you really go wrong with Lucy Liu mowing down a whole city block with an M-60? Didnít think so. Sprinkle that with Ray Park showing off some fly kicks, insane car crashes up the ying-yang (all about the ďbusĒ scene) and one hell of a landmine fiasco sequence and you get a lazy sucka (that would be me), signed, sealed, delivered on this perfumed trash.
Know your enemy: This half assed ďfighting gameĒ didnít do much for me. Either I didnít know how to play it or it was just really boring. You select an Agent, and then select your attacks, but the attacks are not shown onscreen, all you hear is a grunt and a smack. Then you see a score card. How exciting!!! Iíll stick to Mortal Kombat 4 for my fighting game fix.
Documentary (~ 13 minutes): This slickly edited featurette has the cast and crew talking about the film, the fight scenes, the characters and the stunts. Itís mainly a stretched-out advertisement for the film and I didnít get much substantial info out of it. An okay watch.
We also get the Theatrical Trailer and a Cast and Crew feature.
This baby has the depth of a video game, the look of a comic book and the energy of a coffee addict. No, this isnít a good movie in the classic sense. Thereís no script here, just lots of posturing, flames, guns, bullets, Liu looking yummy, Banderas being Banderas (thank you), hand-to-hand fights and lots of KABANG. The DVD is solid from an audio/video standpoint, but the EXTRAS are quite flimsy, but then again...so is the movie. The way I look at it, a cheap chocolate bar can sometimes be more fulfilling then a classy buffet. For me, this was one of those times and I relished the sugar. Having a bad day? Life blows like the drunken ugly girl at the prom? Slap this movie in the slot and get pleasurably lobotomized.