BLU-RAY/DVD REVIEWS

003797Reviews & Counting
SEARCH BY TITLE # A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Bandidas
DVD disk
02.21.2007 By: Mathew Plale
Bandidas order
Director:
Joachim Roenning Espen Sandberg

Actors:
Salma Hayek
Penélope Cruz
Steve Zahn

Rating:
Movie:
Extras:
Overall:

star Printer-Friendly version
comment
WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
Not that the target audience will care, but let's give it a shot: Two cowgirls who, in between robbing banks to seek revenge for the beatings/deaths of their fathers, manage to look as beautiful as possible by evidently finding an Estée Lauder store in late 1800s-Mexico.
IS IT A GOOD MOVIE?
Bandidas is nothing more than a vanity project for Hayek and Cruz--a dull excuse for these tamales to trot around looking pretty. For 92 minutes, you will have paid to see Hayek and Cruz slap each other like 12-year-old sisters, bounce on horses, and do push-ups in an ankle-high (breast-high for the workout) stream--not to mention a toned-down ménage à trois kissfest involving our two galloping gals in burlesque outfits. It reminded me of Russ Meyer trying to shoot a western; a thin plot headlined by thick-topped broads…and for kicks, a few horses.

Bandidas has about as much plot and half the brains as Busty Cowgirls II (don’t IMDb it, I made it up). But chances are, the target audience (who have a very distinct rental history) will care less about the plot than they will two pairs of mucho breastos flopping about Mexico.

I certainly wouldn’t argue with anyone who called Bandidas borderline-exploitative. But hold your South of the Border-bred horses--there’s a message in here! It’s as awkward as Dwight Yoakam’s acting, but hey, it’s there.

As the turn-of-the-century Bonnie & Bonnie ride through Mexico, they rob banks in an attempt to exact revenge from the man who killed and wounded their fathers (country bumpkin Yoakam). Most of the (minimal) robbery scenes are a blast, and though they won’t evoke any suspense, they are certain to do their job: entertain us. In between these robberies, the movie is less than mediocre and about ten notches below The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr.

The score (by Eric Serra) is hip, meshing wonderfully with the feel of the film, all while giving off that Spaghetti Western vibe that the movie intended. This makes Bandidas at least feel epic, even though the directors missed this by a hundred desert miles.

Directors Joachim Roenning and Espen Sandberg have their minds in the right place and their half-assed homages and misplaced FX intact, but in the end offer an overall bore worthy of the Wal-Mart bargain bin.

Bandidas is not driven by logic or excitement, but rather a nonsensical plot (not to mention the ending that completely contradicts the characters’ initial motives) and tits. Most will see Bandidas solely for the Hayek-Cruz connection. But why not just Photoshop your favorite pictures of the dynamic duo together in dirty positions? It’s just as shameful.
THE EXTRAS
Audio Commentary by Salma Hayek and Penélope Cruz: The only thing thicker than these ladies’ sweaters are their accents. Hayek and Cruz are good company, which is a given considering their personal friendship, but are completely inexperienced in delivering a commentary. Why are the pretty ones always so boring?

Burning Up the Set with Salma and Penélope (4:44): This is a quick bit with Hayek and Cruz discussing how they came on board the project and things of that sort. Just like the movie/commentary, there is no substance.

And the Theatrical Trailer.
FINAL DIAGNOSIS
If you don't mind the overall cheesiness and exploitative-nature to Bandidas and are a teenage pervert who digs only chicks and guns, you may find something worth rattling your jollies over.
Strikeback
Not registered? Sign-up!
Or

Best Selling

| March 2017 More Best Selling
  • 1
    Fantastic Beasts
  • 2
    Sing
  • 3
    Moana
  • 4
    Doctor Strange
  • 5
    Fifty Shades Darker

Featured Youtube Videos

Views and Counting