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Barb Wire
BLU-RAY disk
Mar 4, 2011 By: Jason Adams
Barb Wire order download
Director:
David Hogan

Actors:
Pamela Anderson
Temuera Morrison
Xander Berkeley

Rating:
Movie:
Extras:
Overall:

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WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
In a bleak future where a Second Civil War has torn apart the United States, a soldier turned bar owner finds herself caught up in supporting the resistance when she’s tasked with aiding the escape of a scientist who holds the cure for Super AIDS.
IS IT A GOOD MOVIE?
BARB WIRE literally opens with Pamela Anderson dancing on a stage, boobs out, hanging from a swing, getting sprayed with water. While there’s nothing wrong with this from a heterosexual male standpoint (this was 1996 after all, back when Anderson wasn’t a shriveled silicone shell), it sets the tone for the next 97 minutes—T&A before all else.

That’s really pretty much the entirety of BARB WIRE. It’s an hour and a half of bouncing boobs, bubble baths, see through shades and the occasional gun fire, with the cracks loosely filled with a generic story, horrible acting, and low-rent action scenes. Based on the Dark Horse comic book of the same name, BARB WIRE is a transparently-veiled retelling of CASABLANCA, with the former Playmate in the Humphrey Bogart role. That might explain the 1930s retro vibe of the future, it’s almost as if no one involved with the movie actually watched the classic film and instead compiled the entire thing just from IMDB summaries and pop culture references. It’s lazy, poorly done and worst of all fairly boring throughout, though there are a few spots of enjoyably unintentional humor.

Anderson is exactly as you would expect her, a beacon of bad acting and awkward line readings that feel like a Saturday Night Live rehearsal. Her Barb Wire (real name Barbara Kopetski) is a part time bar owner, prostitute, and bounty hunter who really doesn’t like to be called “babe.” Two of those three professions are beyond Anderson’s skill sets as an actress and the result is sheer embarrassment. Seeing the blonde bimbo fighting a bad guy on top of a car being held up by a forklift being held up in the air by a crane is almost as funny as seeing her deliver tough-girl dialogue. (If you ever wanted to see the “Baywatch” star show off her acting skills in a serious war drama, you’re also in luck!) Even a supporting cast that includes such venerable B-movie talents as Clint Howard, Debo, Jango Fett and Udo Kier as Barb’s bald manservant can’t salvage this mess.

Oh, also, that opening bit is pretty much the only nudity in the film. In case you were looking for some sort of light at the end of the tunnel.
THE EXTRAS
As void and empty as Pamela Anderson’s skull.
FINAL DIAGNOSIS
BARB WIRE is stupidly conceived and poorly executed on pretty much every level and there’s not even that much T&A in it. You might get a kick out of just how bad it is, especially Pamela Anderson’s action heroine “performance,” but even that can only get you so far.

Extra Tidbit: Original director Adam Rifkin (THE CHASE, DETROIT ROCK CITY) was replaced part way through filming.
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9:57AM on 03/04/2011

You forgot a couple things

First of all, you didn't mention that it is a comic book movie, based on the series of the same name from Dark Horse Comics under their Comics Greatest World banner. Second, there is a much longer swing sequence after the credits that shows a lot more of the only reason anyone watched this movie (and the only part I actually remember)... Pam's boobies. She truly was the bomb back then.
First of all, you didn't mention that it is a comic book movie, based on the series of the same name from Dark Horse Comics under their Comics Greatest World banner. Second, there is a much longer swing sequence after the credits that shows a lot more of the only reason anyone watched this movie (and the only part I actually remember)... Pam's boobies. She truly was the bomb back then.
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3:33PM on 03/04/2011
In the second paragraph it says "Based on the Dark Horse comic book of the same name." And thanks for the heads up about the post-credits sequence. I couldn't turn it off fast enough as soon as I saw the end credits.
In the second paragraph it says "Based on the Dark Horse comic book of the same name." And thanks for the heads up about the post-credits sequence. I couldn't turn it off fast enough as soon as I saw the end credits.
9:45AM on 03/05/2011

Good review

Well, after reading the review, I'll pass on the movie, but at least I got to read a well-written review ;-) Oh, and fanboy, first of all, he did mention that it's a comic book-based "movie". Second, what's that black thing on your avatar's face? Is he/she from a comic book?
Well, after reading the review, I'll pass on the movie, but at least I got to read a well-written review ;-) Oh, and fanboy, first of all, he did mention that it's a comic book-based "movie". Second, what's that black thing on your avatar's face? Is he/she from a comic book?
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