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Beverly Hills Chihuahua
DVD disk
6 years ago By: Jason Adams
Beverly Hills Chihuahua order
Director:
Raja Gosnell

Actors:
Drew Barrymore
Andy Garcia
Piper Perabo

Rating:
Movie:
Extras:
Overall:

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WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
A spoiled Chihuahua named Chloe is taken by her owner’s spoiled niece to Mexico, whereupon she is dognapped and goes on the run from vicious dogfighters. (The Michael Vick kind, not WWI airplane pilots.)
IS IT A GOOD MOVIE?
This movie is like my worst nightmare come to life. I have reviewed some awful titles for this site, but there’s not enough booze or pills in the world to get me to watch BEVERLY HILLS CHIHUAHUA. So instead I let my girlfriend’s own spoiled chihuahua Picchu watch and paw at the keyboard with her thoughts:


Hello. I am Picchu. I enjoy gourmet kibble and require constant human attention. Why isn’t BEVERLY HILLS CHIHUAHUA about me? I am much prettier and refined than that stupid white mutt on the screen. And I look much cuter in my designer Juicy jumpsuit.

Aside from that I loved this movie! The costumes were so fabulous, it was almost enough to replace things like plot and story. Every script should be filled with puppy puns and lines like, “Her ears are as pink as seashells and her nose is like a raspberry.” Ridic awes!

Mmmm, the heroic male dog was so rugged and handsome. His haunches were firm and his loins looked warm and inviting. I’d like to help scratch his hard to reach places, if you know what I mean…

There were even some dramatic parts too. Like when Chloe is rejected by the posh hotel and forced to live on the street it’s so touching and sad. I truly felt for her; sometimes my owner doesn’t let me wear the color raincoat I want. At the end, Chloe learns a lesson in being modest and frugal and throws away her designer bootie as a symbolic act of defiance. Then Andy Garcia dog finally opens up and talks about his past as a police dog who lost his partner and his sense of smell. I also liked the poop jokes.

Kudos to the casting director, who was able to get every single slightly famous Hispanic actor to be in this movie. I’m sure they signed on once they realized the script was not racist at all. Like how the Mexican dog is a gardener or that within minutes of arriving in Mexico the main character is kidnapped and forced into a dog fighting ring. (It’s sad when it happens to dumb humans, but hilarious when it happens to dogs.) I kept waiting for them to play “Low Rider” and it took almost a whole hour!

And what a great medium to explain the plight of our kind. At one point they go and meet a band of wild Chihuahuas in the Mexican wilderness at the Pyramids of Chihuahua. There Chloe learns about the pride of the Chihuahuas and that we are not meant to be fashion accessories. “We are tiny, but we are mighty!” Oh my god, this is like porn for me.

In conclusion, there’s nothing I enjoy more than watching two Chihuahuas talk at length about their philosophical outlook on life. Especially when that Enrique Iglesias “Hero” song plays in the background.

I give BEVELY HILLS CHIHUAHUA 5 stars!

Love, Picchu



Human Translation: 1 out of 5 stars.
THE EXTRAS
Kind of a bare disc for a hit Disney release, no?.

Commentary by director Raja Gosnell: Gosnell makes an effort to make it interesting, but honestly how much can you listen to a man talk about a movie centered around talking dogs? Not much.

Legend of the Chihuahua (3:08): A flash animated short explaining the history of the breed. Little kids might not hate it.

Deleted Scenes (10:10): Three cut sequences, one of which is a musical number. Thank you God.

Blooper Scooper (3:08): Mostly just dogs not listening to the trainers commands. Looks like a serious pain in the ass.

A couple tiny Easter Eggs, but that’s about it.
FINAL DIAGNOSIS
Unless you’re a spoiled rich dog, you will hate this movie.

Extra Tidbit: BEVERLY HILLS CHIHUAHUA made $94 million in the United States. God help us all.
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