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Bikini Bloodbath Carwash
DVD disk
12.31.2008 By: Jason Adams
Bikini Bloodbath Carwash order
Director:
Jonathan Gorman, Thomas Edward Seymour

Actors:
Debbie Rochon
Rachael Robbins
Sheri Lynn

Rating:
Movie:
Extras:
Overall:

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WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
A group of college girls who work at a bikini carwash accidentally unleash a killer zombie chef during a sťance.
IS IT A GOOD MOVIE?
There are ways to purposefully make a fun bad movie, but BIKINI BLOODBATH CARWASH gets it all wrong. The result is a flick that feels like a low budget amateur pornoÖwithout the sex.

That means you have to suffer through the horrible acting, complete lack of story, shoddy production and camcorder cinematography, but none of the payoff. Sure, there are some topless shots and plenty of girls dancing around in bikinis, but thatís not enough for anyone not incredibly stoned or drunk to watch this.

The whole thing feels like one big inside joke. At least Iím hoping it is, since so much of it falls flat. B-movie queen Debbie Rochon tries her best but is wasted. The killer chef angle is a subplot and what little gore there is is a letdown. (Save for a sliced nipple.) A couple of the more wacky and out there elements almost work in a parody sort of way, but overall itís cringeworthy and painful. And not good painful; like a Troma movie but without the creativity or the fun.

Itís hard to imagine that everyone involved didnít know exactly what they were making. (A big chunk of the movie is made up of random musical montages in an obvious bid to save money on having an actual script.) But self awareness doesnít equal a free pass. Even worse is the fact that this is a sequel to a movie called BIKINI BLOODBATH. That means that there was another movie just like this that was successful enough and seen by enough people to warrant a sequel. Now thatís terrifying.
THE EXTRAS
Oh my God, they actually gave it special features.

Bikini Bloopers (7:13): Whatís bad is that I canít even tell when they mess up. Thatís how bad this movie is.

Meet and Greet Chef Death (6:22): A jovial host sits down with a couple of the actors.

On Location with the Directors (5:13): The pair makes comparisons to Roger Corman, which sounds niceÖbut no. No.

The Girls (4:31): Get to know the personalities behind the boobies.

The Guys (7:03): See above, but with penises.

Photo Gallery and Trailers.
FINAL DIAGNOSIS
B-movie fans can do better. Guys looking for cheap and fun nudity can do better. In short, anything is probably better than watching this movie.

Extra Tidbit: A sequel, BIKINI BLOODBATH CHRISTMAS, is already on the way.
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