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Black Christmas (unrated)
DVD disk
Apr 27, 2007 By: Scott Weinberg
Black Christmas (unrated) order
Director:
Glen Morgan

Actors:
Mary Elizabeth Winstead
Lacey Chabert
Michelle Trachtenberg

Rating:
Movie:
Extras:
Overall:

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WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
A bunch of obnoxious (but yes, hot) sorority girls get sliced and diced by a psycho during Christmas Eve. That's (literally) it.
IS IT A GOOD MOVIE?
In exchange for making DAWN OF THE DEAD and THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE pretty big hits at the box office, we're now being offered a non-stop deluge of generally wretched horror remakes. I'll spare you the massive list of perfectly good horror movies that have been smeared by the lame-ass-remake brush, but suffice to say -- by the time someone starts remaking BLACK CHRISTMAS, the trend has pretty much run its course.

That's not to knock the original BLACK CHRISTMAS, which is a damn fine chiller and one of the great-granddaddies in the slasher sub-genre. But to pluck this particular title off the shelf, which is certainly familiar to the gorehounds but very few others, reeks of grabbiness. As in "Crap, what else can we remake?!?! License an old slasher title, quick!"

And then, just like so many times before, Glen Morgan's BLACK CHRISTMAS arrives with nothing to show for itself. (It's even more disappointing because Morgan's other remake (WILLARD) is a damn good flick.) It's a thinly-constructed and paper-thin slasher rehash full of obvious twists, annoying characters, and an annoyingly generic presentation. (The crazy killer's back-story, for example, is the epitome of basic and listless.)

Morgan generates little to no tension as his actresses flail about from sorority house living room to attic and everywhere in between. The space between "the kill scenes" becomes a repository for tedious dialogue and time-wasting plot shenanigans. As far as the splattery stuff goes, the fans will dig the brief-yet-nasty FX work, but they'll have to slog through a pretty tiresome movie just to get their hands on those nuggets.

THE EXTRAS
"What Have You Done? The Remaking of Black Christmas" is a slickly-produced but conventional featurette in which writer/director Glen Morgan, producers Bob Clark and James Wong, and all the sexy actresses talk about their roles, the movie, all the alleged scares, etc. "May All Your Christmases Be Black" is more of the same, although Morgan gets most of the spotlight this time around. The two featurettes are basically one piece that was split in half. If you liked the flick, you'll dig the info found here.

Rounding out the disc are about twenty minutes of deleted / extended / alternate scenes, including some optional endings. Meh.

FINAL DIAGNOSIS
If you're a hardcore horror completist (and believe me, I can relate) or you just salivate at the thought of seeing Michelle Trachtenberg, Lacey Chabert, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, and Crystal Lowe in the same movie, feel free to give it a rental, but don't go in expecting anything more than the same old thing ... Christmas-style.
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