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Blonde and Blonder
DVD disk
Mar 21, 2008 By: Quigles
Blonde and Blonder order
Director:
Dean Hamilton

Actors:
Pamela Anderson
Denise Richards
Emmanuelle Vaugier

Rating:
Movie:
Extras:
Overall:

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WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
Two blonde bimbos are mistaken for assassins and get wrapped up in a mob hit.
IS IT A GOOD MOVIE?
BLONDE AND BLONDER isn't a movie you simply "watch". It's a movie you suffer through, enduring scene after scene of painfully scripted and self-aware attempts at stupidity that border more on the line of mental retardation. In other words, this movie is so awful, it actually fails at being stupid. At least intentionally, anyway.

After being subjected to several jokes involving such classic humor as toilet paper hanging off ladies' buttocks and turtle flatulence, BLONDE AND BLONDER eventually devolves into a never-ending "Who's on First" sketch (Asian people's names are hilarious, apparently), done with all the subtlety and nuance of a five year old that's just learned the meaning of the word "poop". Heh. Poop.

The film completely rips off the infinitely better DUMB AND DUMBER and BEAVIS AND BUTTHEAD DO AMERICA (it actually has the exact same plotline, amazingly) and then loads them with some of the most contrived and poorly concocted "wacky misunderstandings" in existence, all of which usually end with the gangsters and police offers commenting on the ladies' actions as "brilliant". There are also plenty of gags where the two blondes do something idiotic, are oblivious to it, and then usually a large fat guy will start ranting manically about their mishaps while chasing after them. Nothing quite as hilarious as fat men huffing and puffing, eh?

Then there's Pamela Anderson and Denise Richards, who have all the comedic timing of a drunk college frat boy telling you that hilarious story about how he pissed in the punch at his high school prom, and equally as much acting talent. Fortunately for them, they're not asked to do much, with most of their scenes requiring them to either stare at the camera blankly (which they're both very skilled at) or dance around like victims of Parkinson's disease (a horribly unfunny gag that is repeated so often, I often found myself pondering how peaceful death would be rather than watch it one more time).

Throughout the course of the film, obviously improvised scenes go from dreadfully unfunny to outright embarrassing the longer they drag on, leading to shockingly lengthy sections where the lead actresses vanish and several other duos fill up the running time (among them are Chris Farrelly's understandably unknown brothers, Kevin and John).

Adding insult to injury, the film ends with a dedication to director Bob Clark, which is the equivalent of raising a middle finger to his grave and urinating on his corpse. And this is a guy whose latest movie was SUPERBABIES: BABY GENIUSES 2. The fact that something like BLONDE AND BLONDER can besmirch him gives you a pretty good idea of just how bad a movie we're talking about here.
THE EXTRAS
Bleh.

The Making of 'Blonde and Blonder' (14:00): A featurette that is insightful for all the wrong reasons. When the best interview snippet you can get from your lead actress is, "I kind of liked working on the movie, I guess," you know you're in trouble.

Bloopers (6:00): I had assumed this selection would just replay the movie, so I didn't watch them. Ba-zing!

Also included are the Theatrical Trailer and Previews.
FINAL DIAGNOSIS
"BLONDE AND BLONDER or suicide?" I thought to myself as I was getting ready to put the disc into my DVD player to review it for the site. It was a tough call.

I made the wrong one.
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