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BloodRayne 2: Deliverance (Unrated)
DVD disk
09.13.2007 By: Quigles
BloodRayne 2: Deliverance (Unrated) order
Uwe Boll

Natassia Malthe
Zack Ward
Brendan Fletcher


star Printer-Friendly version
Vampires in the Wild West. That's it.
Expectations are an amazing thing. If you set them low enough, you can enjoy just about anything. There are, however, exceptions to the rule. Uwe Boll's name being anywhere near a product is one of them.

Like any good vampire movie, BLOODRAYNE 2 kicks off with some sepia toned still images of western civilization panning across the screen, recalling for me those wonderful days sitting in 5th grade history class watching those action-packed documentaries about the gold rush. Rest assured, the same level of suckage is maintained throughout the rest of the production as well.

Uwe Boll's latest opus is actually a surprise in that, if you can believe it, it isn't bad enough. If there was one thing I thought I could always count on from the Germany-based filmmaking extraordinaire, it was that his movies would always be good for a laugh. But with BLOODRAYNE 2, there's hardly any of those classic so-bad-it's-downright-f*cking-hilarious moments we've all come to expect from the man who put the "alone in the dark" back into ALONE IN THE DARK (guess he had his work cut out for him on that one). Instead, scene by scene of poor acting, lazy direction, ugly visuals, and terrible dialogue fill out the running time, eventually adding up to one of the dullest movie watching experiences of my life. There's not even enough material here for a drinking game.

The biggest mistake made in BLOODRAYNE 2 is its introducing of the BloodRayne character. I don't care that her name is in the title or that she's the focal point of the film; whether you're referring to the actress or character, all her involvement did was take an already lame movie and makes it worse. Think the equivalent of grabbing a three-legged dog and punting it off a bridge. Not to say Kristanna Loken was all that impressive in the role, mind you, but Natassia Malthe (her replacement) makes you long for Loken's mediocre acting chops. As hot as she is, her lack of on-screen presence is stunning. Add to that, the fact that BloodRayne's part vampire only comes up like twice during the entire film, making the character almost as lousy as the actress playing her. Isn't this chick supposed to be some vampire-slaying badass? Puh-lease. I've seen stalks of celery more threatening.

Even on the gore and nudity front (just about the only thing the first movie had going for it), this film comes up way short. It's labeled as the "Unrated Director's Cut", which is enough to make you wonder what could have possibly been changed. The violence is weak and unexciting, and the brief moments of gore are all after-the-fact. As for nudity... there is none. What a jip.
The most worthwhile special feature here is the new Trailer for Uwe Boll's venture into satirical comedy, POSTAL. The movie's been getting some shockingly positive word of mouth so far, and even though I still think it will be lousy (seeing as how nothing in the trailer made me laugh), it still looks miles beyond anything Boll has done in the past. It'll be interesting to see how the whole thing unfolds come the day of its release.

Audio Commentary (with director Uwe Boll and director of photography Mathias Neumann): This track only becomes amusing once Neumann makes his exit about a quarter into the session. From there on out, it's Uwe Boll's show. The majority of time is spent either discussing aspects of the production that you're guaranteed to have zero interest in, or sitting in stone-cold silence for what seems like ten minutes at a time, even yawning every now and then. Towards the end, he tunes out altogether, leaving the final ten or so minutes of the movie with nothing but dead air. Guess he was as bored as I was.

If you happen to pick up the DVD, make sure to fast-forward to a little past the 50-minute mark, where he talks about the "Boll haters". It's hilarious how he thinks that because making a movie is hard work, he should be exempt from critique, even after creating an abomination of cinema. He also defends his movies, saying they're better than 95% of the other films that get made. What he apparently doesn't realize is that the stakes are higher when you have a theatrical release, not to mention that the aforementioned 95% of films are made for less than a million bucks and rarely get distribution. The plus side to all this is, with BLOODRAYNE 2, he's proved that he's right at home with straight-to-DVD releases.

Extended Scenes (2:57): Three worthless and hardly extended scenes. How fun.

Deleted Scenes (14:57): Nobody in their right mind would want to watch this. It's almost entirely B-roll footage of people riding on horseback. Enthralling.

Digital Comic Book: A cool, well-designed comic entitled "Tibetan Heights". You can either flip from page to page, or zoom in on individual panels and continue from there.

Interviews with Director and Cast (14:41): This behind-the-scenes featurette is as lifeless as the movie itself, with the only worthwhile moment featuring Uwe Boll discussing his stylistic choices. Apparently, all of you have to do to capture the look and feel of a western is use close-ups of eyes and guns. Boy, he sure has the Sergio Leone formula down pat.

Also included is the full Bloodrayne PC Videogame on a 2nd disc, not unlike how the original film's DVD came with the Bloodrayne 2 PC game. They sure planned that out poorly.
It takes a bold director to hop back in saddle after making one of the most poorly received movies ever made, particularly when it means the movie would be a straight-to-DVD vampire western with half the first film's budget and an entirely different cast (this time of no name actors). But let's be honest hereóDr. Boll's a bold guy. Just not enough, apparently, to give the very minimal audience for this film what they would actually want... tits and gore.

Give it up, Boll. You may be capable of beating my ass like you did those other "fans" of yours, but that doesn't make your movies suck any less.
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