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Bottom's Up
DVD disk
Sep 20, 2006 By: Scott Weinberg
Bottom's Up order
Director:
Erik MacArthur

Actors:
Jason Mewes
Paris Hilton
David Keith

Rating:
Movie:
Extras:
Overall:

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WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
Jason Mewes woos Paris Hilton. Everything else is just roadkill.
IS IT A GOOD MOVIE?
The credits list for the excruciatingly bad BOTTOM'S UP contains 16 different producers (one of whom is Paul Walker?), which raises an interesting question: How many producers does a movie this awful really NEED? And the cast list offers a bunch of familar names: David Keith, Phil Morris, Tim Thomerson, and a cameo by Kevin Smith. Oh, and here's the best part: It's a romantic comedy, and the leads are ... Jason Mewes and Paris Hilton.

Forgive me for saying it, but what ultra-wacky wormhole did THIS flick flop out of? Putting aside the fact that any movie "starring" Paris Hilton is instantly not a real movie, this thing is nine kinds of awful. Here's what I think BOTTOM'S UP is about: Jason Mewes is a Minnesota bartender who heads out to Hollywood so he can participate in a bartender's tournament that involves the throwing around of bottles. While in California, Mewes hangs with his ultra-gay uncle, and the joke here is that Gay Uncle won't admit he's gay -- despite the fact that he's very, very flamey.

So then Mewes blackmails Paris Hilton into being his friend, which allows him access to the super-stud mega-star that has all the gossip shows moist with excitement. So basically it's half CAN'T BUY ME LOVE, half ALMOST FAMOUS, and entirely unwatchable from start to finish. Mewes is definitely a funny guy, but not in this thing. He decides to play it "straight" for much of the flick, and the strain is almost palpable. Hilton, sheesh. This girl couldn't couldn't act hot if you set her horrible brunette wig on fire. Her scenes look like screen tests for a movie that never got made.

Plus there's not one real laugh in the whole messy flick. Kevin Smith's bizarre cameo comes close, but nope. Nothing.

THE EXTRAS
Nada.
FINAL DIAGNOSIS
Mewes as a straight man? David Keith as a mincing gay-dude caricature? Paris Hilton as a romantic lead? This thing's gotta be a joke, right?
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