Forgive me for saying it, but what ultra-wacky wormhole did THIS flick flop out of? Putting aside the fact that any movie "starring" Paris Hilton is instantly not a real movie, this thing is nine kinds of awful. Here's what I think BOTTOM'S UP is about: Jason Mewes is a Minnesota bartender who heads out to Hollywood so he can participate in a bartender's tournament that involves the throwing around of bottles. While in California, Mewes hangs with his ultra-gay uncle, and the joke here is that Gay Uncle won't admit he's gay -- despite the fact that he's very, very flamey.
So then Mewes blackmails Paris Hilton into being his friend, which allows him access to the super-stud mega-star that has all the gossip shows moist with excitement. So basically it's half CAN'T BUY ME LOVE, half ALMOST FAMOUS, and entirely unwatchable from start to finish. Mewes is definitely a funny guy, but not in this thing. He decides to play it "straight" for much of the flick, and the strain is almost palpable. Hilton, sheesh. This girl couldn't couldn't act hot if you set her horrible brunette wig on fire. Her scenes look like screen tests for a movie that never got made.
Plus there's not one real laugh in the whole messy flick. Kevin Smith's bizarre cameo comes close, but nope. Nothing.