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Cinderella II (SE)
DVD disk
Jan 14, 2008 By: Quigles
Cinderella II (SE) order
Director:
John Kafka

Actors:
Jennifer Hale
Tress MacNeille
Rob Paulsen

Rating:
Movie:
Extras:
Overall:

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WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
Three short stories involving, among other things, party planning, makeovers, and chocolate pudding.
IS IT A GOOD MOVIE?
The year is 2002, well before the release of the highly superior CINDERELLA III. Disney has not yet bought Pixar, thus they're still in a position where all their remaining dignity has been effectively vanquished courtesy of terrible theatrical releases and even worse straight-to-DVD sequels of much adored classic. The latest attempt at raping your childhood memories? Cinderella II.

Three clichd douchebag studio executives are busy brainstorming the quickest way to get it in stores and empty the pockets of credulous parents everywhere...


Disney Executive #1: In my hands I hold three rejected scripts from the "Cinderella" TV show. We at Disney have decided that we have more class than to just release trash like this on the air. So we're gonna make a straight-to-DVD sequel instead. Any ideas?

Disney Executive #2: Why don't we just stitch the three rejected TV episodes together and call it a sequel?

Disney Executive #1: Perfect! ...but wait, we need to give the shorts some sort of half-assed context.

Disney Executive #2: Let's just have the mice making a book for Cinderella and telling the three stories as they go.

Disney Executive #1: That's so terrible it just might work!

Disney Executive #3: Guys, guys, guys. Can we really do this? Have we really sunk so low? I say we start fresh and new. Let's come up with an original idea for a movie that both children and adults can enjoy. What do you say?

Disney Executive #1: You're fired.

The above conversation may just be an approximation of the real thing, but it can't be too far off. This so-called "movie" is nothing more than an insult to CINDERELLA, combining three not-even-worthy-for-TV shorts and attempting to masquerade them as a sequel.

The first short is about Cinderella planning a party during her first days as a princess. There are all these snobbish rules she has to follow, but she chooses instead to show off what a good-hearted and carefree spirit she is. In the end, everyone loves her for it. The second is about one of the mice wanting to help Cinderella, but being too small, so the Fairy Godmother magically transforms him into a human. In the end, he learns it's better to appreciate yourself for who you are instead of who you're not. The last one is about Cinderella's stepsister Anastasia getting a makeover and capturing the interest of some baker. In the end, I killed myself. Fin.
THE EXTRAS
Did this movie need a "Special Edition"? F*ck no. Now that they've made one anyway, is it any good? F*ck no. Do I have any intention of wasting more time than I need to writing about this DVD? F*ck no.

And with that, the special features are as follows: Race to the Royal Banquet Game, Musical Magic Featurette, Cinderella Storybook, Cinderella's Enchanted Castle Activity, "Put it Together" Music Video, and Previews.
FINAL DIAGNOSIS
Disney Executive #1: And after releasing the already worthless piece of shit on DVD, we can release it again six years down the line as a "Special Edition," even though there will be absolutely nothing special about it. Take that, consumer bitches! Feed us with your money! FEED US... NOM NOM NOM...
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