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Coyote Ugly (SE)
DVD disk
Jun 13, 2005 By: Quigles
Coyote Ugly (SE) order
Director:
David McNally

Actors:
Piper Perabo
Adam Garcia
John Goodman

Rating:
Movie:
Extras:
Overall:

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WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
A cute, innocent, and naïve small-town Jersey girl moves to the big city to become a song writer, but ends up shaking her ass and pouring water all over her hooters instead. Add in a pathetic love story and predictable ending and you have yourself a shitty movie!
IS IT A GOOD MOVIE?
If you were to take a bad porno, remove the nudity, add in a lame clichéd plot, and give it some high production values, you would have something similar to COYOTE UGLY. Think SHOWGIRLS, but directed towards children. Except now, with the Extended Cut, the kiddies also get to enjoy some nice titties, courtesy of Perabo’s body double in a badly cut sex scene. Some may argue the movie is a guilty pleasure, which I might have agreed with had it not been so deceptively superficial. The movie pretends it has meaning and purpose, yet has all the leads wiggling their asses for cash, and really enjoying it too. Then on top of that there’s the love story, which is cute for little girls I guess, but it’s so out of place. Who the hell is this film for? I can’t for the life of me understand why girls would enjoy it, unless they take pleasure in watching other chicks dance around half-naked soaking each other in water. But it also can’t be for dudes, because the horrible groan-inducing love story is smeared all over this junk.

I’ll admit to one thing: I did enjoy the bonerific hotties and killer soundtrack. They aren’t nearly enough to save this picture, but they were enough to put strangling myself on hold. Besides, with a movie as just plain bad as this one, I’ll take what I can get, as little as there may be. Seriously, this movie is so thin it’s practically see-through, just like the Olsen twins (heh heh, it’s always rewarding to burn a celebrity in a review that has no relation to them). When you break it down, there’s about 30 minutes of monotonous “songwriter” plot, 30 minutes of ass wiggling, and 30 minutes of love-story bullshit. That’s about an hour too much... of what, I’ll let you decide for yourself.
THE EXTRAS
The only difference between the extras on this DVD and the ones on the previous DVD is the commentary, which has been changed from two scene specific tracks to just one.

Coyote Commentary (with the director, the producer, and the Coyotes): Bruckheimer and McNally briefly chime in every once in awhile to tell some interesting tidbits, but most of this is taken up with “girl chat” from the actresses playing the Coyotes. They laugh it up and have fun, which is great and all, but not to listen to for an hour and a half.

Search for the Stars (10:49): This briefly covers two of the film’s characters and the Coyotes, yet at the same time just sums up what we already know about them from seeing the movie. There’s also a little about the actresses getting their roles.

Inside the Songs (3:36): Mainly about LeAnn Rimes being Perabo’s dubbed musical voice in the film. Somewhat substantial compared to the other extras.

Coyote 101 (6:40): Separated into three sections, these meaningless featurettes teach us practically nothing about the stuff they supposedly cover: the bar setting, learning to bartend, and dancing around like a slut.

Additional Scenes (6:55): 5 more scenes of utter boredom. ‘Nuff said.

Action Overload (1:09): A highlight reel that shows none of the movie’s highlights.

We also get a Music Video (3:47) called “Can’t Fight the Moonlight” by LeAnn Rimes and the Theatrical Trailer.
FINAL DIAGNOSIS
Is seven minutes of extra footage really worth a double dip? Not if it’s COYOTE UGLY, that’s for sure. While I do appreciate seeing the knockers of some random body double, that doesn’t justify me watching a bad movie again, especially when the other new footage is even less substantial than the extra nudity. I deeply recommend skipping this one, because the bad aftertaste it leaves is still lingering to this very moment.
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