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December Boys
DVD disk
12.24.2007 By: Quigles
December Boys order
Director:
Rod Hardy

Actors:
Daniel Radcliffe
Lee Cormie
Christian Byers

Rating:
Movie:
Extras:
Overall:

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WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
Four orphans hang out during summer.
IS IT A GOOD MOVIE?
DECEMBER BOYS isn't just an overly familiar coming-of-age story. It's a goddamn parody of the genre.

You have four boys, all of whom have cutesy nicknames: Maps, Misty, Sparks, and Spit. They're orphans who are best of friends, and during a few months, spend a vacation at place they call "The Cove." This is where the film takes place, carried along by a voiceover of one of the boys (Misty) from his later years. During this time, they all have one goal: to be adopted by a cool motorcycle stuntman who wants to have a child with his hot wife. Each orphan has their own "fun-filled" subplot, except for one... don't ask me why.

Most of the time is spent on the narrator, Misty, who's an increasingly annoying ginger desperate for adoption. Next up is, unsurprisingly, Maps (played by Harry Potter's Daniel Radcliffe), who doesn't want to be adopted, and instead spends his time confiding in a complete slut who pops his cherry. Radcliffe is the reason people will be seeing this film, but considering how miscast he is, he shouldn't be. The three other kids look about ten years younger than him, and he shares no chemistry with them. It's amusing that the problem with the HARRY POTTER films now is that the kids are getting too old for their roles, and now even when he's is trying to prove himself without the glasses and scar, he's still undergoing the very same problems. The other two boys, meanwhile, have hardly anything to do, save for a minor subplot with Sparks (or was it Spit?) wanting to catch a giant fish named Henry. Boy, talk about creative storytelling.

Everything that you might think would happen in DECEMBER BOYS happens, even down to the climax where all the boys get mad at each other and part ways, but are pulled back together when one of the boys is put in danger and needs saving. It's not a poorly made movie, and the whole thing is rather inoffensive fluff, but why the hell would anybody want to watch this when they are so many better movies that handle the exact same material?
THE EXTRAS
Just the one extra...

Additional Scenes (7:31): There are six of them, all as uninteresting as the film itself.
FINAL DIAGNOSIS
Snooze.
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