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Disaster Movie (Unrated)
DVD disk
Feb 16, 2009 By: Jason Adams
Disaster Movie (Unrated) order
Director:
Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer

Actors:
Matt Lanter
Vanessa Minnillo
G-Thang

Rating:
Movie:
Extras:
Overall:

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WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
Never has a title been more appropriate or descriptive.
IS IT A GOOD MOVIE?
My God. I’ve made it thus far in life having avoided any of Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer’s well known plagues upon cinema—DATE MOVIE, EPIC MOVIE, MEET THE SPARTANS—but apparently the universe has decided it was time for me to transition in to manhood and confront their latest ode to ass, DISASTER MOVIE.

While I may not be well versed in their films, I can venture that Friedberg and Seltzer’s writing process must consist of flipping through channels looking for things to make fun of. That’s the only possible way the movie can go from parodying 10,000 B.C. to the latest American Gladiators incarnation to Amy Winehouse to INDIANA JONES AND THE CRYSTAL SKULL to Flavor of Love to My Super Sweet Sixteen, all within a few minutes, all without any sense of plot or direction. And this continues for the rest of the movie. There’s no real story aside from a group of interchangeable characters need to get from Point A to Point B and encounter random film and pop culture references along the way that make no sense. It’s the poorest excuse for a feature film I’ve ever encountered. At one point they actually parody the “I’m F*cking Matt Damon” song. Is a bit from one episode of the Jimmy Kimmel show last year really a cultural touchstone worthy of mockery?

What’s worse is that the “filmmakers” (using that term loosely) literally make fun of movies that had not been released yet while they were filming. This means that they were poking fun at WANTED, HANCOCK, THE DARK KNIGHT and HELLBOY II having seen only the trailers. That can explain why the level of comedy involves Iron Man and Hellboy getting crushed by cows or Speed Racer getting shot. And fittingly not a single thing elicited laughter from me the entire time.

But what’s truly worse is that audiences have actually been turning these movies in to hits. Are people really that easily entertained that they’re like, “Hey, I recognize what this is from! Cool!” You know you’re in trouble when you have to have a guy from MadTV playing twelve different characters because he’s the most talented member of the cast. And you know you’re really in trouble when Carmen Electra and Kim Kardashian (who’s famous for having a big ass and a sex tape) have a catfight in lingerie and it does nothing for me.
THE EXTRAS
Commentary by cast and crew: The first 15 minutes passed and I did not hear an apology from anyone, so I stopped listening.

Featurettes: Eight different behind the scenes bits that include interviews with characters, tours of the set and singalongs. None worth your time.

Previews.
FINAL DIAGNOSIS
I’ve been reviewing DVDs here for over three years and this is the first zero score I’ve given. And I stand by that. In 5-10 years will anybody be able to watch this? Not a single reference will be relevant, make sense or be funny.

Extra Tidbit: This movie could not even be improved by the presence of Leslie Nielsen. I have never before said that about any film.
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