I almost feel rude bashing a straight-to-video action film starring Steven Seagal, but somebody’s gotta do it. After all, you’re reading this for a reason. Flight of Fury is a poorly dubbed, pathetically acted, deathly stupid mess. The supposed selling point of the film, the pulse-pounding, heart-racing dogfights seem to glide on a blurred line between shoddy stock footage and stone-age CGI.
Seagal is like a fat, constipated-looking Chuck Norris, whose shelf-life expired about 15 years ago. 54-year-old Seagal lazily squints his way through the film, not a sign of a pulse around. Black belt or not, this guy is absolutely painful to watch. With a karate chop here and a bullet fired there, the action is about as generic as it comes. But hey, it’s kind of nice to see an animal rights activist throw a knife through a guy’s neck.
You know your movie has a problem when the highpoint is an obligatory lesbian scene that involves Seagal as a Peeping Steven. If you look closely, you can see his very manly ponytail slowly rising…
I don’t know if Flight of Fury is a step up or down for Seagal. Quite frankly, aside from his diehard (a much better action film, by the way) cult fans who will see the movie no matter what, who cares? Call me crazy, but I’d rather listen to Seagal’s 2004 album, “Songs from the Crystal Cave” while drinking one of his Lightning Bolt energy drinks.