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Gallowwalkers
DVD disk
Sep 11, 2013 By: J.A. Hamilton
Gallowwalkers order download
Director:
Andrew Goth

Actors:
Wesley Snipes
Kevin Howarth
Riley Smith

Rating:
Movie:
Extras:
Overall:

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WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
When the woman he loves is violated by a gang of thugs, a lone gunman kills them and then dies himself. His mother then breaks her covenant with God to resurrect him, which in turn, resurrects those he killed. Yes, Im serious.
IS IT A GOOD MOVIE?
Oh boy. So apparently this was shot somewhere between 2006 and 2008, after Snipes BLADE days and before he hit the big house. Its also rumored that the estimated budget was 17 million. If so, someone got insanely ripped off. At first glance this looks like BLADE set in the wild westI honestly thought it was about him fighting vampires, but it turns out theyre being labelled zombies, which of course, is quite a stretch. Honestly, I cant tell you what these Gallowwalkers are because clearly, even the writers have no idea. The plot holes in their storyline/explanation are big enough to drive through, so eventually I gave up trying to make sense of it. Needless to say, it aint pretty.

Snipes definitely emulates his Blade character with very few words spoken, and one liners that make TWILIGHT look clever. His monologue driven backstory is about as good as it gets, but I have to laugh as its damn near identical to that of Marcus Van Sciver, the main villain from BLADE: THE SERIES. Swap out the fact that their vampires and youve got a copyright infringement. And speaking of which, they better hope Clive Barker doesnt watch this (Im sure hes got better things to do), because the introduction to these Gallowwakers and how they use skin and flesh is also damn close to how its done in HELLRAISER. To say that this flick steals from just about every horror franchise out there in an attempt to put something on screen that isnt completely translucent would be an understatement.

GALLOWWALKERS is an insulting waste of time, money and talent (the last one being debatable). The characters are cartoonish (Ive never seen such a laughable, over-the-top villain, hamming it up like theres no tomorrow), with names so awful I cant even begin to wonder who let them slide. This movie feels like an acid dream re-told at a party as a joke. Theres no real plot, no explanation for whats going on (aside from a vague revenge angle for Snipes), no imagination put into the fighting, zero character backgroundseriously, who was Angel, other than two boobs fighting to see which could pop out of her corset first? Im starting to think maybe Snipes went to jail over this mess rather than tax evasion.
THE EXTRAS
Behind the Scenes with Interviews: Why anyone would do an interview and associate themselves with this nonsense is beyond me. Poor Wesley Snipes, youd better pray your EXPENDABLES 3 performance squeezes you back into the fold.

Previews: There are a few trailers as well as a Digital and Ultraviolet Copy of the film.
FINAL DIAGNOSIS
This is one of those train wrecks you see through to the end out of morbid curiosity and then never speak of the ordeal again. What? GALLOWWALKERS? Never heard of it.
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1:21PM on 09/11/2013
Maybe I should just watch Passenger 57 to relive the good feelings I still have for him.
Maybe I should just watch Passenger 57 to relive the good feelings I still have for him.
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4:12AM on 09/11/2013
Watch this recently. Totally agree. What a waste of time. Everything in it is bad.
Watch this recently. Totally agree. What a waste of time. Everything in it is bad.
Your Reply:



10:58AM on 09/11/2013
I've been waiting years to finally see this movie. Can't wait to buy it!
I've been waiting years to finally see this movie. Can't wait to buy it!
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