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Garfield
DVD disk
10.20.2004 By: The Shootin Surgeon
Garfield order
Director:
Peter Hewitt

Actors:
Breckin Meyer
Jennifer Love Hewitt
Bill Murray (voice)

Rating:
Movie:
Extras:
Overall:

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WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
Based on Jim Davis’ famous newspaper comic strip, this movie is about Garfield, a very fat housecat who sounds like Bill Murray and is forced to leave his peaceful cul-de-sac when his goofy canine pal Odie is dognapped by an evil trainer (the very funny Stephen Tobolowsky).
IS IT A GOOD MOVIE?
I’m not sure which studio genius in his right mind thought this movie would be a good idea but he/she obviously has a vastly different conception of “good” than the rest of the civilized world. The only thing this movie has going for it is a threesome of adorable puppies: little Odie and the pair of St. Bernards hanging off Jennifer Love Hewitt’s chest. Not much more to offer unless you’re looking for a good reason to put an end to your existence or more evidence that Hollywood is able to pump out more drivel in a single day than an entire phalanx of Canadian politicians in a year. Even the usually hilarious Bill Murray’s dry wit can’t save this blunder from its fate in Wal-Mart’s 99¢ bin.

No matter how good your intentions are going into this, the first five minutes of the movie are enough to make you wonder what you’ve gotten yourself into. It begins at a snail’s pace and never really picks up despite Breckin Meyer’s best efforts as Jon Arbuckle, Garfield’s nerdy owner and Love Hewitt’s short skirts and extraordinary rump. By the way, for those starting to wonder where Love Hewitt’s career is headed, I’m offering 2:1 odds that we’ll be seeing more than our fair share of gratuitous tittie shots in her upcoming films. She’s been pretty smart about keeping those funbags in the bank until her prospects hit rock bottom and the day is fast approaching where she’ll be the chain-smoking center square on some lame game show. Nice try once again Jen, but we’re all in it for a look at your… uhm… let’s be clear here... your huge breasts! But enough about her monster milk jugs, let’s talk about this movie…or actually you know what, let’s keep with the milk jugs… they’re just more fun...
THE EXTRAS
Thankfully, nothing comes after the movie except for the shame of never again being able to say, “Garfield!?!? What moron would sit down and watch that sh-- ?!?!?”
FINAL DIAGNOSIS
This stillborn attempt at cashing in on a famous cartoon character should be avoided at all costs unless you consider an irritating CGI cat dancing to the grating Black Eyed Peas humorous in any way. The only people I would recommend this to are blind and deaf people who need some background noise for their plants.
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