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Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
BLU-RAY disk
06.17.2013 By: Mathew Plale
Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters order
Director:
Tommy Wirkola

Actors:
Jeremy Renner
Gemma Arterton
Famke Janssen

Rating:
Movie:
Extras:
Overall:

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WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
Years after escaping the clutches of an evil witch, Hansel (Renner) and Gretel (Arterton) enter the bounty hunting business with a specialty in the supernatural beings.
IS IT A GOOD MOVIE?
For those that never made it to elementary school, Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters opens with a brief recap of the events: an ugly witch kidnapped the wandering siblings; the ugly witch forced the boy to eat nothing but junk food; the siblings threw the ugly witch in her oven.

Years later, Hansel (Jeremy Renner) and Gretel (Gemma Arterton) have turned their childhood trauma into a profitable business, having entered the bounty hunting game with a focus on, well, witches. The duo is so popular around Augsburg, Germany that they even have a number-one fan (Thomas Mann), who is so obsessed that we immediately suspect he’s embezzling from their fan club.

Despite Hansel’s own words that, “If you’re gonna kill a witch, set her ass on fire,” he and his sister equip themselves with semi-automatics and crossbows, and set out to rescue as many children and slay as many witches as possible. It’s all so wildly unnecessary, anachronistic and over-the-top that it, in its first act, qualifies as the dumbest movie of the year. (Of course, having Adam McKay and Will Ferrell as producers doesn’t help.)

Despite numerous delays and production hiccups, writer/director Tommy Wirkola (the Nazi-centric zombie comedy Dead Snow) somehow got his dream project to the big screen, complete with 3D effects that serve no purpose other than to cash in on the craze and assault the viewer with cartoony effects and cheap thrills.

We would have much rather seen Little Red Riding Hood: Wolf Slaughterer.

THE EXTRAS
Reimagining Hansel & Gretel (15:41) details the making of Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, touching on the origins, characters, style, and more.

The Witching Hours (9:01) looks at the witch characters in the movie.

Meet Edward the Troll (5:25) briefly touches on the character portrayed by Derek Mears and Robin Atkin Downes.

Also included are a DVD (which holds the Theatrical Version) and UltraViolet.

FINAL DIAGNOSIS
We don’t often encourage cooking children, but if the witch had had her way, at least Hansel and Gretel wouldn’t have been reduced to carrying crossbows and working as mercenaries. Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters is an unnecessary and over-the-top venture, and will probably end up being the dumbest movie of 2013. Special features include a trio of featurettes and two versions of the movie.
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