Cuba Gooding Jr
Iím not going to rehash the story, mostly because itís so preposterous youíd think Iím joking, but lets just say the opening credits show a Mastercard logo on Mt. Rushmore, a Pepsi sign on the moon, and an Aquafina ad on the side of an African antelope (Iím serious).
Poor Cuba Gooding Jr. leads the cast of Hardwired, looking old, tired and genuinely sad- and I donít think that was just him getting into his character. Val Kilmer I donít feel as sorry for, mainly cuz you can just tell he doesnít give a damn- he's here for the paycheck. The vast majority of his scenes feature him standing in front of a green-screen, shown on a TV screen, so something tells me he was on set for 2 days, max. I will say he coulda brushed his hair though- dude looks like a drunken version of the Cowardly Lion (who always seemed drunk to me already).
The action is sparse and pretty unimpressive. A few gunshots, car wrecks and some roundhouse kicks from Cuba are all we get. The twists are not really twists at all cuz you can see them coming from the opening scene, and the production values arenít fooling anybody here. I will say the special FX arenít half-bad for a film with this kind of budget.
Thereís just no real emotion in this hap-hazard film (kinda like in this review). Val does nothing to try and make a threatening bad guy, and since Cubaís character has amnesia, thereís no emotion necessary to grieve for his past (wonder whose idea that was). Hey, at least Michael Ironside is in this thing. Heís exactly the kind of guy that should be doing this kind of movie. He keeps it fun and never takes himself too seriously, and thatís something these straight-to-DVD movies should never, EVER do- try to masquerade themselves as quality cinema.
There are also a handful of previews for similarly awful films.