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Hitman: Agent 47
BLU-RAY disk
02.16.2016 By: Jason Adams
Hitman: Agent 47 order download
Director:
Aleksander Bach

Actors:
Rupert Friend
Hannah Ware
Zachary Quinto

Rating:
Movie:
Extras:
Overall:

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WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
A genetically-engineered super assassin must rescue his creator's daughter in order to stop bad guys from creating more genetically-engineered super assassins.
IS IT A GOOD MOVIE?

I've never played the Hitman video games, so I can't tell you if there's some amazing story or unique hook that makes it worth two attempts at starting a film franchise, but for whatever reason the first HITMAN movie was a dud and the second one isn't any better.

Nothing about HITMAN: AGENT 47 is truly good. It's not completely unwatchable or a disaster worthy of our Awfully Good column per se, but there's no part of it that would make me suggest you immediately check it out. The action is occasionally decent and it doesn't hold back on the blood and guts, but much of what is supposed to be thrilling is also really stupid—from bad CGI stuntmen to a badass assassin rolling around the floor firing a gun. And who could forget the memorable training sequence where the teacher ties up his student in front of a jet engine to enhance her hitwoman skills?

What really drags things down though is the terrible choice for lead actor. Rupert Friend brings little to the table, coming across like a less charismatic Orlando Bloom. If you're going to hire someone who's not a great actor, at least get a believable action star. I get that Agent 47 is supposed to be inhuman killing machine, but that doesn't have to automatically equate to "bland." When literally everyone else he encounters in the movie is more interesting, you're in a bad place. And the film doesn't do itself any favors by putting the title character in a supporting role for a good chunk of it, opting to give Zachary Quinto's villain the traditional protagonist role, letting him initially rescue the female lead and spend time with her. It's all in service of an unnecessary fake-out, and just draws attention to the fact that Quinto has more chemistry with the girl, leaving Friend to suffer through the expected cliché discussion of whether a brainwashed killer is human and can feel love, etc. etc.

The plot is also pretty by-the-numbers and seems to be more interested in opportunities for Audi product placement than telling a good story. When you have to have longwinded opening narration explain the setup and background of your entire movie, including character motivation and relationships, you're doing something wrong. And this HITMAN definitely does a lot wrong.

THE EXTRAS

The Blu Ray set comes with a Digital Copy and a Hitman comic book.

The Hit Counter: An interesting idea that's not actually that interesting. Activating this will keep a running tally of all the deaths in the film, as well as occasionally pop up extra bits of info and storyboards.

Deleted Scenes (4:03): Three brief scenes, including more targets for the title character and a completely excised fight sequence at a construction site.

Re-Imagining Hitman (6:02): This standard promo piece focuses on the title character, trying to explain why they needed to reboot this franchise and not doing a particularly good job convincing you.

Ultimate Action (6:54): Want to see how they shot the decent-to-middling fight scenes in this movie? Congrats!

Promotional Featurettes (6:48): Five short standard puff pieces get grouped together here, including ones on Katia, Zachary Quinto's bad guy and more. All are too brief to be in any way effective.

Hitman: Agent 47 Comic (2:20): A physical copy of this short comic book is included with the Blu Ray, or you can watch it on your TV.

Making of the Comic Book (1:49): Learn how they made the comic book that came with your Blu-Ray in under two minutes!

Gallery and Poster Gallery: Why are these still being included? Who is looking at pictures on their Blu Ray?

FINAL DIAGNOSIS

I suppose HITMAN: AGENT 47 could've been worse, but that still doesn't mean I recommend watching it. If you're a fan of the games, you're better off just playing those and pretending neither movie ever existed. Nothing to see here.

Extra Tidbit: Paul Walker was originally supposed to play Agent 47 before he died.

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