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I, Frankenstein
BLU-RAY disk
05.28.2014 By: J.A. Hamilton
I, Frankenstein order download
Director:
Stuart Beattie

Actors:
Aaron Eckhart
Bill Nighy
Yvonne Strahovski

Rating:
Movie:
Extras:
Overall:

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WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
Frankenstein’s monster has roamed the earth for years in search of answers, answers that put him on the front lines of a war between gargoyles and demons that will soon engulf all of mankind.
IS IT A GOOD MOVIE?
Ugh, what a turd. Now don’t get me wrong, believe it or not, I went into this with an open mind. After all, I’m huge part of this genre’s fan base—fantasy, horror, sci-fi, or a mixture of all three, that’s my jam. That said, Frankenstein has always felt a bit bland to me. I liked Mary Shelly’s FRANKENSTEIN, and I’ve seen a slew of other Frankenstein-based films (as well as books and many TV shows), but I’ve never cared much for the character, which is a shame because the monster has potential. This movie however, does not.

I love the UNDERWORLD movies, guilty pleasures that they are, and let’s be honest, I’d watch Kate Beckinsale clad in skin tight leather for hours on end, no matter how ridiculous the story was. And therein lies this flick’s biggest problem: it’s no UNDERWORLD, no matter how hard it wants to be. Guys, just make another damn UNDERWORLD movie! I’d sooner sit through that than a cheesy UNDERWORLD rip-off. Frankenstein wedged into a war between gargoyles and demons is f*cking dumb. It doesn’t help that the gargoyles look like shit, and the demons, though slightly better, are still nothing spectacular. Somewhere Goliath is watching this movie screaming “bitch please!”

I, FRANKENSTEIN was never going to be anything truly epic, something that was painfully obvious from the trailers, but I hoped it would be at the very least “watchable”. It isn’t. The fact that PENNY DREADFUL is now three episodes in, and features a much more interesting take on Victor Frankenstein and his monster, isn’t doing this flick any favors either. Now I have nothing against Aaron Eckhart and Bill Nighy (I’m also a fan of rising stars Yvonne Strahhovski and Jai Courtney), but good talent can’t make up for a bad idea and even worse script.
THE EXTRAS
Commentary: There are two commentaries (God knows why); one with co-writer/director Stuart Beattie, and one with filmmakers Gary Lucchesi, Richard Wright, James McQuaide and Kevin Grevioux. Neither are worth your time, nor do they help elevate this monstrous piece of garbage.

“Creating a Monster” Featurette: The director, cast and crew delve into the visual concepts of the film’s creatures. My only thought is this: It couldn’t have been too damn hard to come up with these ideas considering both Frankenstein and the gargoyles speak for themselves conceptually, and the demons, well, we’ve seen these types of creatures many time before.

“Frankenstein’s Creatures” Featurette: This should have been combined with the previous feature as it’s pretty much the same thing, only here we get badass actor Kevin Grevioux giving us his rundown of the facts. Love that guy.

Previews: There are a slew of trailers as well as a 3D, DVD and Ultraviolet Copy of the film.
FINAL DIAGNOSIS
Horror has been taking a harsh beating lately, and in this case I can’t even blame the PG-13 rating, because folks, an NC-17 rating with over-the-top gore and a whorehouse’s worth of boobs couldn’t reanimate this stinking corpse. Take my advice, wait for the next UNDERWORLD sequel.
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+0
9:03AM on 05/28/2014
I enjoyed the Underworld movies to a point - them gradually getting weaker per film - but even I couldn't bring myself to enjoy this one. The storyline made me want to watch Legion again to rinse this from my mind.
I enjoyed the Underworld movies to a point - them gradually getting weaker per film - but even I couldn't bring myself to enjoy this one. The storyline made me want to watch Legion again to rinse this from my mind.
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+0
7:01AM on 05/28/2014

I live in Melbourne...

... and I have come to learn that any movie made here... Ghost Rider for example... is awful. I didn't finish this, I admit. I couldn't do it. It felt like the cut scenes is some PS3 game. Exposition and console level CGI.
... and I have come to learn that any movie made here... Ghost Rider for example... is awful. I didn't finish this, I admit. I couldn't do it. It felt like the cut scenes is some PS3 game. Exposition and console level CGI.
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2:07AM on 05/28/2014
If there's anything that will decimate my credibility as a film critic, it probably will be that I actually enjoyed this. I thought this self-seriousness was part of its charm. It's not even "so bad it's good", the absurd, Hollywood-style premise was executed with just enough flair and of course there's Bill Nighy chewing the scenery as only he can. Also, Frankenstein's Monster was portrayed as intelligent and articulate. I thought the visual effects work was good, especially on the Gargoyles.
If there's anything that will decimate my credibility as a film critic, it probably will be that I actually enjoyed this. I thought this self-seriousness was part of its charm. It's not even "so bad it's good", the absurd, Hollywood-style premise was executed with just enough flair and of course there's Bill Nighy chewing the scenery as only he can. Also, Frankenstein's Monster was portrayed as intelligent and articulate. I thought the visual effects work was good, especially on the Gargoyles.
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