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Jack The Giant Slayer
BLU-RAY disk
06.25.2013 By: J.A. Hamilton
Jack The Giant Slayer order download
Director:
Brian Singer

Actors:
Nicholas Hoult
Ewan McGregor
Ian McShane

Rating:
Movie:
Extras:
Overall:

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WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
A farm boy with grandiose dreams (Jack), just so happens to end up with a handful of beans that grow into beanstalks if they get wet. They do, of course, which sparks an old feud between mankind and giants.
IS IT A GOOD MOVIE?
Once upon a time, Hollywood was a wondrous place filled with infinite ideas for our viewing pleasure, but when the well ran dry, they decided to turn our beloved childhood fairy tales into bland, over-the-top garbage forever tarnishing these once fun adventures. You’d think after stinkers like RED RIDING HOOD, BEASTLY, MIRROR MIRROR, and THE BROTHERS GRIMM, they’d stop. But you’d be wrong. The newest batch, SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN, HANSEL & GRETEL WITCH HUNTERS, and this flick, JACK THE GIANT SLAYER are more of the same, with JACK being slightly above average. That said, it’s not much more than watchable.

On the good side, the set pieces and landscapes are to die for. They really went all out in that department, which makes the journey at least look magical. The beanstalks are borderline, as are the giants themselves, but in the end, I suppose there was no avoiding that. I found some of the armor cool, Elmont’s in particular, but the King’s armor was just bad. I get what they may have been thinking with the gold color, but presentation-wise it just didn’t work. There wasn’t much in the way of fighting or war (the whole coup didn’t even start to come about until after the first hour), but I dug the fight at the castle where the giants were tossing fire covered trees over the walls. Sadly though, if you’re hoping to see an epic battle, you’ll be disappointed because there isn’t one. I won’t ruin anything, but it just doesn’t really happen like that (almost like they played this a little safe).

JACK THE GIANT SLAYER comes off as rock ‘em, sock ‘em, ass-kicking bout between us and them if you go by the title, but it’s pretty damn tame. There is no war, just a lot of talking, climbing and a few minutes of smashing at the end. The real storyline focusses on heroism, and the Aladdin-esque arc between the princess and a dude who’d never have a shot, but somehow gets pulled into an epic adventure to save her life and make her fall for him, kinda thing. Yeah, that story. Other than Jack and the Princess, nobody (save for Ewan McGregor’s Elmont) gets to shine. Stanley Tucci’s involvement was brief, and as much as I love Ian McShane, he seemed bored, and I don’t particularly blame him as there wasn’t much for him to do.
THE EXTRAS
Become a Giant Slayer: A cool premise, by way of making the features accessible via climbing a beanstalk. There are a few featurettes here to choose from, and though brief, some are interesting. I liked the Giant’s Kitchen and Defending your Kingdom the best.

Deleted Scenes: Eight and a half bland minutes that should have stayed in considering this hit the two hour mark as it is.

Gag Reel: Three forgettable minutes, but the cat bit was a little funny.

Previews: There are a couple trailers as well as a DVD and Ultraviolet Copy of the film.
FINAL DIAGNOSIS
I didn’t go in to this with high expectations, but I did enjoy it much more than all the other titles I mentioned (yes, I had to review them all). They’ve bled this fairy tale angle dry, and in some cases are still beating the dead horse (Maleficent? Another Snow White movie, really?). It’s safe-territory fun for the family and kids, but not much else. And even then, it’s not the adventure it could’ve been.
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