1) Terrible acting. Neither Douglas nor Turner tries very hard in JEWEL OF THE NILE. The chemistry from the first movie is all but gone and replaced half the time by whiny, joyless bickering. The other half is gaudy slapstick that just feels out of place. The rest of the characters are just caricatures and stereotypes.
2) Terrible production values. About midway through, Douglas and Turner steal a fighter jet that is obviously a paper mâché frame built around the outside of an old car. And they can’t afford to have a real flying airplane, so it just drives around on the ground.
3) Terrible pop music. The nomadic Arabs actually dance to disco in the desert.
4) Terrible dialogue. Here are a few examples. (Keep in mind these are all said with the utmost seriousness):
- “Jack would never die without telling me!”
- “If we get out of this alive, I’m going to kill you!”
- “I’m gonna stick you up a camel’s ass.”
“I think I might like it.”
- “Your ass is grass and I’m a lawnmower!”
Commentary by director Lewis Teague: Teague comes across as a very nice and well-meaning filmmaker. His blatant style gave me hope that the commentary would be honest about the movie (and where it went wrong); however, Teague lost me once he started talking about how much he strove to achieve realism in the film. Realism?! Has he even watched JEWEL OF THE NILE?
Romancing The Nile: A Winning Sequel (20:55): You can tell Michael Douglas completely regrets making this movie. He talks about the bond between him and the other actors, how much fun it was to shoot on location, and how it was the only sequel he’s ever done, but he completely skirts around the movie itself.
Adventures of a Romance Novelist (8:01): Pretty much just recaps the plot of the two movies.
Deleted Scenes (5:30): Six extended and deleted segments. Unfortunately, more of a bad thing is never good.
A Theatrical Trailer too.