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Machete Kills
BLU-RAY disk
Jan 28, 2014 By: Mathew Plale
Machete Kills order download
Director:
Robert Rodriguez

Actors:
Danny Trejo
Charlie Sheen
Mel Gibson

Rating:
Movie:
Extras:
Overall:

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WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
Mexicos most dangerous blade expert (Trejo) accepts a job from the President of the United States (Charlie Sheen) to stop the launching of nuclear missiles around the country (and outer space).
IS IT A GOOD MOVIE?
Machete dont fail, dont joke, dont smoke, and dont tweet. But he does sequel. And so here is Machete Kills, the follow-up to 2010s Machete.

Machete Kills opens with the titular badass (Danny Trejo) and his main squeeze Sartana Rivera (Jessica Alba) coming face-to-face with a Mexican drug cartel and gun-wielding maniacs in luchador masks. After Sartana winds up in the way of a bullet, Machete is kidnapped and put in a noose. At just the right time, a call comes in from the President of the United States.

At the White House, President Rathcock (Charlie Sheen, credited as Carlos Estvez, his real name) tasks Machete to take out a ruthless madman named Mendez (Demin Bichir), who has access to nuclear missiles and isnt afraid to use them.

Machete Kills is certainly over-the-top, but the series and character has lost much of its allure. Yes, there is a lot of gun- and blade-play, a chunk of ridiculous one-liners, excessive gore, and a collection of notable namestheres Amber Heard as a contact going undercover as Miss San Antonio, Sofia Vergara as a saucy madam, Vanessa Hudgens as a prostitute on the run, and Mel Gibson as the man behind the plan; other various-sized roles go to William Sadler, Cuba Gooding Jr. and Lady Gaga, not to mention those reprising their rolesbut theres not much here that the first Machete didnt have.

That likely wont be a problem. Fans are here for all of the above and will probably stick by the series until its dead and buried. (Theres a coming attraction for Machete Kills Againin Space attached to the movie, which is both real and a joke about how badly some exploitation series and characters have been milked for all theyre worth.)

And although Machete Kills delivers to the target crowd on all accounts and boasts a faux-3D sex scene, its really just not that amusing. Even one of its biggest gagscasting Sheen as a man in charge of one of the most populous countries in the worldfeels like a cheap stunt thats past expiration. At least Lindsay Lohan was still a walking disaster when she turned up in nun garb in the first Machete. Sheen as a punchline is so stale that it seems likely the series fourth entry, Machete Goes to the Supermarket, will feature Miley Cyrus opening an orphanage.

THE EXTRAS
Making Machete Kills (20:20): Director Robert Rodriguez, Danny Trejo, Charlie Sheen, Mel Gibson, Michelle Rodriguez, Amber Heard, and many more discuss the movies evolution, cast, characters, and more. Also included is on-set footage.

Deleted and Extended Scenes (20:10): There are eight here, which can be viewed separately or as a whole. They are: Sheriff Doakes Talks About His Pappy, No Ones on the Road Tonight, I Dreamt Nurses? Meet Baby Machete, Titos Been Tasered, El Camalen Sounds Like Antonio Banderas This Time, Extended Truck Driving Scene, and Im Just Savin You the Sunburn.

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FINAL DIAGNOSIS
Machete Kills may have the same sort of action, gore and cameos as its 2010 predecessor, and fans of the series and character will certainly get a few kicks, but this follow-up isnt nearly as fun, nor is it as entertaining as the trailer for Machete Kills Againin Space. Special features include a making-of featurette and deleted scenes.
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2:46PM on 01/28/2014

Yes I'm a Star Wars fan

Not as good as the first one, but better than the word of mouth that it's getting. The first one was more "serious" if that word could be applied to Machete. With Gibson and Bichir's over the top villains and El Chameleon I ended up having a good time with the sequel. My biggest complaint was with the "in space" trailer that gives away parts of the final act. It should have been saved for mid-credits or after the credits.
Not as good as the first one, but better than the word of mouth that it's getting. The first one was more "serious" if that word could be applied to Machete. With Gibson and Bichir's over the top villains and El Chameleon I ended up having a good time with the sequel. My biggest complaint was with the "in space" trailer that gives away parts of the final act. It should have been saved for mid-credits or after the credits.
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9:07AM on 01/28/2014
It's not great at all, but I kind of appreciate how out-there this one got. I could have done without Charlie Sheen, but everyone looked like they were having fun (especially Demin Bichir). And Mel Gibson nailed it. The "have a heart" line was vintage Mel.
It's not great at all, but I kind of appreciate how out-there this one got. I could have done without Charlie Sheen, but everyone looked like they were having fun (especially Demin Bichir). And Mel Gibson nailed it. The "have a heart" line was vintage Mel.
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10:50AM on 01/28/2014
I'm totally in agreement. It's guilty pleasure stuff.
I'm totally in agreement. It's guilty pleasure stuff.
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