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Maid in Manhattan
DVD disk
10.06.2004 By: Indiana Sev
Maid in Manhattan order
Director:
Wayne Wang

Actors:
Jennifer Lopez
Ralph Fiennes
Natasha Richardson

Rating:
Movie:
Extras:
Overall:

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WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
A single mom (Lopez) and maid at a posh Manhattan hotel tries on an expensive dress and gets mistaken by a senatorial candidate (Mr. Fiennes) as a high class lady. They fall for each other instantly, but should the truth get out about her true “position” in life, things could get rather sticky for the lovebirds. Of course it could....we’re still living in the Middle Ages, right? Gimme a break!
IS IT A GOOD MOVIE?
This idiocy is a slap in the face to any moviegoer who expects even the slightest bit of originality, feeling, comedy or intelligence from their movies. Nobody (cast or crew) escapes from this movie unscathed. Let’s start with the director Wayne Wang who directed the great movie SMOKE. This poor guy probably had a gun to his head just to make sure that he removed every bit of wit, style and believability of character from this supposed romantic comedy. Next we have three great, not good, British actors Bobby Hoskins, Ralph (Rafe) Fiennes and Natasha Richardson proving, without a doubt, that precise and thorough Shakespearian training is of no use when it comes to the judging of good film scripts. I’m a huge fan of this trio, so I won’t rip into them too much but from the bottom of my heart...I hope they did it for the cash! (Hoskins looks like he might’ve done all his scenes in a quick 2 days...nice...the perfect crime). Stanley Tucci, who is known for being brilliant in intelligent comedies (BIG NIGHT) isn’t even lucky enough to have his character be one-dimensional as he clichés his way through trying to separate true love from the two leads. Finally, we have the charm-less Jennifer Lopez cashing yet another paycheck in her third generic stinker in a row (preceded by ENOUGH and THE WEDDING PLANNER). Nice...the hat trick!

The real title of this dumb movie should have been Clichéd in Manhattan. You want clichés, you got ‘em, from uncaring divorced dads to people interrupting one another just as they’re about to reveal something important, this movie spares no expense in providing a wholly unoriginal, packaged romantic comedy (I swear on God’s Holy bible that I didn’t smile once through this entire picture) to what it suspects is a lobotomized zombie audience who will flock like sheep to anything starring that “Jenny from the block”. I have absolutely nothing positive to say about this idiotic and insulting picture.* It’s not funny or smart and it’s got as much romance as Lopez’s first couple of marriages. They even taint Paul Simon’s great “Me and Julio down by the Schoolyard” by playing it over the opening credits. Anybody who loves movies....no, scratch that...anybody who has ever seen even one good movie in their lifetime should steer completely away from this mockery. Shame on everyone who had anything to do with this project. I’m done. I’ve wasted enough time on this nonsense.

*Pssst, my half star rating is due to a good cover of Simon and Garfunkel’s “Kathy’s Song” in the movie.
THE EXTRAS
No extras except for a few trailers. It’s too bad because I really wanted Wayne Wang to let us know what he thinks he might've done in his past lives to be given the horrible fate of directing MAID IN MANHATTAN in this one.
FINAL DIAGNOSIS
I’m a huge movie fan and I can honestly say that I’ve never been so completely let down and discouraged in the Hollywood movie-making process as I was after viewing this disaster. I strongly discourage anyone from renting and especially buying this waste of time camouflaged as a movie. Rent a classic black & white movie, spend time with your loved ones or make a pizza instead. Thanks.
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