Rob Rollins Lobl, Sam Sokolow
It’s not just that NO MONEY DOWN doesn’t seem to have a point, but I can’t even tell what kind of movie it’s trying to be—a wacky romantic comedy, a suave “guys” movie ala SWINGERS, or a dark satire on high society socialites. Whatever it is, it’s a mess and not funny at any point. A bunch of random scenes wrapped around an abandoned plot, there’s noting here except 1.5 hours of boredom. The worst part is you can tell the filmmakers actually think they’ve made a clever movie. Let me explain the caliber of comedy at work here: As a girl pulls off a guy’s pants she says “You’ve got the biggest tick I’ve ever seen!” (He’s got an unwelcome parasite on his crotch, get it? )
Fittingly enough, Lucas is the only bright spot in here. He comes off as a likable and charismatic lead despite what he’s given. Aside from that, don’t be fooled by the cast list. Yes, Eric Stoltz, Teri Garr, Roy Scheider, Ally Sheedy and Al Franken are in the movie…for about three seconds each. Maybe next time the filmmakers should invest in a story and a script before asking favors from their “name” actor friends.