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Road House 2
DVD disk
9 years ago By: Johnny Moreno
Road House 2 order
Director:
Scott Ziehl

Actors:
Johnathon Schaech
Jake Busey

Rating:
Movie:
Extras:
Overall:

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WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
In Louisiana, The Black Pelican is the place to get your two-step on and rope in really hot, bi-curious southern girls. When it gets busted up by-no bullshit-“Wild Bill” (Busey), the local drug kingpin, and the owner is put in the hospital, the owner’s DEA nephew (Schaech) from New York makes a trip back home before Wild Bill and his minions can take over The Black Pelican.
IS IT A GOOD MOVIE?
No, of course not. Though some people may argue that the original Road House wasn’t a good movie (those people are wrong and kick puppies), its successor has failed in what could’ve been the best sequel to the greatest movie ever made. Granted, nobody was kicking doors down to have this made (I certainly wasn’t), but the story that was created was no doubt inspired by numerous “pow wow” sessions where you fall asleep, wake up and hit the bowl again, and numerous grab ass sessions where you fall asleep, wake up, tell your friend to stop swiping your dong, put on a porno and watch each other have a good time (believe me, this will come into play later).

If you’re wondering how the first Road House fits into the sequel and what the connection with Daulton is (other than he was murdered), I’ll tell you but let me add that this review is intended for the curious Road House fan who can’t bear to commit their eyes to this movie. Hardcore, die hard fans of Road House will watch this out of their loyalty to Daulton. Here’s how the lineage flows from Road House to Road House 2: The Black Pelican’s owner Nate Tanner gets put in the hospital for not selling his place to Wild Bill, Nate’s nephew is none other than Daulton son, Shane Tanner. Here (among many other parts) is where the movie could’ve been legitimized but failed on technicalities. Not only was “Daulton” his last name (first name was James), but Daulton would’ve never named his son Shane, let alone raise him to be a pansy ass, nancy boy. You’re destined for a life of awkwardness and argyle socks with that name. Daulton would’ve named his kid, Butch or Whiskey.

Shane Tanner, although he can kick some ass, spends most of the movie ignoring every hot piece of trim in Louisiana (surprisingly there’s a lot) and when he does finally come to the point where he’ll bump uglies, Shane seems like he’d rather be dipping his pecker in hot sauce than kissing one of the hottest girls in the movie. When Shane first arrives in Louisiana to handle business, literally nothing happens for like a half hour. Then Jake Busey does an impression of his Pops and gets angry at Shane’s presence and refusal to sell. Then Jake drops the bombshell: he’s the one that murdered Daulton! Not only is that the worst reveal in a movie, but to besmirch the name and reputation of Daulton by having him meet his fate by getting shot by an albino with bad teeth, not only defies all logic but is also a mortal sin. To suggest Daulton wouldn’t see that coming shows the lack of foresight and understanding the writers had for the Road House world and the character of Daulton. If anything, it only shows contempt for Daulton and I’m surprised that a gaffer or best boy didn’t mutiny the set and take shit over.

That’s it in a nutshell. In the midst of all this are tributes to the original film with occasional lines like “I thought you’d be bigger.” In a love scene, Shane even posts a girl to a wall “The Swayze-style” but then lacking his father’s testicular fortitude, falls to a bed, and there’s also the car-driving-on-its-own-toward-bad-guys stunt recreated. A very bad movie from a very bad script with very bad acting. Trust me.
THE EXTRAS
None

Note* According to Actor Johnathon Schaech’s official website (he also wrote the film), he’s currently in negotiation on writing the Road House miniseries. I’m not joking.
FINAL DIAGNOSIS
Avoid at any cost, even if it’s free. Although I feel every hardcore, die hard Road House fan should see it, you may be better off in reading my review of the movie. Everything is so bad on so many levels that you’re left with the feeling that if Daulton were alive today, he’d be so disappointed and let down by his kid (just how every other parent feels).
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