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Road Trip: Beer Pong (unrated)
DVD disk
08.27.2009 By: Aaron the H
Road Trip: Beer Pong (unrated) order download
Director:
Steve Rash

Actors:
DJ Qualls
Preston Jones
Michael Trotter

Rating:
Movie:
Extras:
Overall:

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WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
A college student with a perfect girlfriend and a penchant for beer pong decides to grab his douche bag buddies and head out on a cross-country road trip to go try and bang a French beer wench from his past. Shenanigans ensue.
IS IT A GOOD MOVIE?
Road Trip: Beer Pong wasn’t made by the poisonous duo of Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg, they of Date Movie, Epic Movie, and Disaster Movie fame, but it sure feels like these screenwriters are fans of theirs (as hard as that is to imagine). Whereas those two “filmmakers” grab actual characters from any and every summer blockbuster they can find, the team behind Road Trip: Beer Pong simply steals characters from popular teen comedies of recent past, then masquerades them as something original.

Lets see, where to begin? Well, amazingly, the film starts off by jacking the Tom Green “college tour group” bit from the first film, only this time our guide is…DJ Qualls. Yup, the skinny, nerdy burn-victim from the first film, who we’re now supposed to believe has become a chick magnet…or something. We’ve got a lead character, Andy, who is blander than non-fat, sugar-free yogurt, his stoner buddy who tries (and fails) to do his best Jeff Spicoli impression, another dude who the filmmakers dolled up to look like Ashton Kutcher (seriously) and the piece de resistance, the now token guy-with-the-silly-Indian-accent (Van Wilder, Paul Blart, etc.).

Throw in a bunch of beer and a bus full of hot chicks and, according to the filmmakers, you’ve got yourself a comedy! Oh wait, there was one small thing this crew forgot to add in though…laughs! With a direct-to-DVD sequel to an only mildly popular film, I pretty much expected as much. But as an avid beer pong enthusiast myself, I was at least excited to see how they’d treat the popular party game.

Like everything else in this flick, it was a huge letdown. One scene in the beginning of the film, and one at the end, that’s all the beer pong ya get here folks. As for the characters, other than their previously mentioned stereotypes, these were some of the most bizarrely inconsistent characters I’ve ever seen. One minute Andy is a well-intentioned angel, the next minute he’s cheating on his saint of a girlfriend in favor of some skanky chick from summer camp. Ashton Jr., who tries horribly to be the Stifler of this film, goes from attempted statutory virgin-rapist (literally) in one scene to a sweetheart the next.

There’s nothing fun, clever or redeeming about this film folks. As for the "Un-r8d" nonsense, there’s really only one good T & A scene. It’s in a bar called Ta-Ta’s where the girls show their tits every time someone gives them a tip. That's the extent of this script's creativity.
THE EXTRAS
“On the Road to Victory” - The Making of Road Trip: Beer Pong (24:39) - Seriously? 25 minutes long? The director shows up to reveal that he's 50+ years old, which probably explains why this movie is so incredibly anti-cool. Watching these people heap praise on each other is just painful. There’s absolutely no reason to watch this special feature unless you’re a big fan of the film, in which case, there’s absolutely no reason for you to go on living. Sorry, just sayin’.

The Bodacious Babes of Ta-Ta’s (2:47) - The whores of Ta Ta’s talk to the camera about how big of whores they are, and they appear unashamed by it. I’m cool with that. As long as you show us your ta ta’s.

Chastity Girls - Heading For Trouble (2:58) - The chastity sluts tell us…well…nothing. I realize that the term “chastity sluts” is an oxymoron but these filmmakers probably don’t know what oxymoron means, so it works.

Get Your Balls Wet - The Essentials of Beer Pong (9:26) - The cast sits around for 9+ minutes talking about beer pong. Which is about 8 minutes longer than they spend talking about it in the film. Nothin’ interesting here folks, unless you want a rambling explanation of the rules of beer pong.

In the Buff - Filming a Mini Concert (5:03) - I think I just died a little bit inside.

Deleted Scenes (4:51) - Nothin’ funny here either. Of course, these scenes aren’t any less funny than anything I saw in the film. There is one semi-warm scene with DJ Qualls, which would have been his only decent scene. So I guess the filmmakers cut it for continuity’s sake.

Bloopers (7:00) - Isn’t the purpose of bloopers to be funny? These guys must have thought it was just to show every take where someone flubbed a line. Wowie.
FINAL DIAGNOSIS
Road Trip: Beer Pong is the latest in a line of cheap knockoff sequels to recent classics like American Pie and Bring It On. While I haven't seen any of those flicks, they'd be hard-pressed to be worse than this. A comedy should make you laugh, and unfortunately for this one, it doesn't even fall into the "so bad it's good" category.

Instead it just slides into the illustrious "So bad Aaron's giving it 1 star" category.
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