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See No Evil
DVD disk
12.14.2006 By: Jason Adams
See No Evil order
Director:
Gregory Dark

Actors:
Kane
Christina Vidal
Michael J. Pagan

Rating:
Movie:
Extras:
Overall:

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WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
In exchange for an early release, a group of juvenile delinquents are forced to do community service by cleaning up an abandoned…

Ah, screw it: A big mean dude kills some teenagers.
IS IT A GOOD MOVIE?
As far as crappy slasher movies go, SEE NO EVIL isn’t the worst I’ve ever seen, which is what I was expecting when the first words on the screen were “WWE Films Presents.” It’s fast paced and there are a few good kills, even though the whole eye gouging thing gets stale pretty quickly. (See no evil...get it?) I don’t watch wrestling so I’m not familiar with this Kane fella, but he fits the “killer” role fine; physically imposing, mean-looking and only has to say one line of dialogue.

By normal movie standards though, SEE NO EVIL is as terrible as you’d expect. The abrasive editing alone made me want to turn it off after ten minutes. And with the focus split over so many different characters, you know jack and squat about each. That made things interesting in the sense that, with no obvious protagonist, it wasn’t easy predicting who gets killed. But as far as caring about any of the characters, no sir. In fact, the only person who gets any real background is the killer, whose flashbacks make you sympathize with him more than any of the victims.

Of course you don’t go in to a movie like SEE NO EVIL expecting the second rubric, but even for a trashy horror movie it’s nothing new, just a retread on the “insane religious freak killing sinful teenagers” genre. Perhaps its biggest crime is setting up a hot prison-lesbian romance and then not delivering.
THE EXTRAS
You get your standard extras:

Commentary by writer Dan Madigan and director Gregory Dark: A little too serious and straightforward for a movie like this. I didn’t hear one laugh the entire time. If you actually care about how they made this movie, or if you fancy repeated witticisms like “That’s a nice shot. I like that” then you might enjoy this.

Commentary by Kane and producer Jed Blaugrund: Another serious, laugh-free commentary. I don’t think Kane has ever seen a movie before, since he points out insider trivia like, “That scene took hours to film because we had to get different angles!” or “When you see that filter, it’s from the killers point of view!”

Do You See The Sin: The Making of SEE NO EVIL (13:01): A little bit of everything—casting Kane, prosthetics and filming, post production effects, and [gulp] potential sequels.

Kane: Journey in to Darkness (2:58): A compilation of Kane’s best moments in the WWE. As I said before I’m not a wrestling fan (although it was funny seeing him body slam a bride on her wedding day).

Storyboard-to-Film Comparison (1:20): See one of the better kills (involving the PETA chick) in various formats.

WWE Promotional Spots: Ten minute-long commercials that I assume were aired during a wrestling show.

Also, Theatrical and Teaser Trailers.
FINAL DIAGNOSIS
I can only imagine somebody paying money to see this movie if they were a big fan of the WWE or Kane. Otherwise, if it’s ever on cable late at night and you’re too lazy to change the channel…at least you know what you’re in for.

Extra Tidbit: Gregory Dark is a former adult film director, whose credits include WHITE BUNBUSTERS, DR. PENETRATION, BETWEEN THE CHEEKS and an Xzibit music video.
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