SEX AND BREAKFAST is a pointless exercise in what writer/director Miles Brandman thinks are relevant modern issues pertaining to young adults and coitus (to use the parlance of our times). However, the “insights” in to relationships are painfully unrealistic and, even worse, boring. Eliza Dushku (doesn’t get naked), Alex Deniza (doesn’t get naked, but did in BROKEN FLOWERS) and Macaulay Culkin (who’s all grown up and saying things like “nutsack”) are fine in their respective roles, but their characters are borderline retarded. Did you know that guys tend to masturbate a lot? If you did, you’re smarter than Dushku’s character here. And what kind of man gets angry and freaks out when Eliza Dushku tells him she wants to experiment with another woman. Not the kind of guy I want to spend and hour and a half with.
I think all in all it boils down to a lacking script. Some of the stuff Brandman has the characters say is hilariously bad, including a dude literally screaming about his “supercock.” The whole thing plays like a group of unlikable people talking about sex for 81 minutes. (Thankfully it’s a short flick.) And despite all the yapping I didn’t care about any of the characters in the end, nor was I emotionally invested in their situation. There’s one legitimately humorous scene in an elevator, although even that feels like the kind of one-note joke somebody would pass along in an email.
I’m no therapist (f*ck Dr. Phil) but the idea of solving your emotional problems by banging other people just seems like a terrible idea. If you need that to keep your relationship going, maybe you’re not right for each other to begin with. But that’s just my unqualified opinion. My qualified opinion, however, is that this movie sucks.
Extra Tidbit: Make fun of me all you want, but Macaulay Culkin was my idol as a kid. By age 11 he had already beaten the crap out of Joe Pesci and kicked game with MY GIRL’s Anna Chlumsky, who I had a serious childhood crush on.