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Showgirls (SE)
DVD disk
Oct 8, 2004 By: Johnny Moreno
Showgirls (SE) order
Director:
Paul Verhoeven

Actors:
Elizabeth Berkley
Kyle MacLachlan
Gina Gershon

Rating:
Movie:
Extras:
Overall:

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WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
Nomi Malone (Berkley) always wanted to be a dancer. So where do all dancers go? Cheetah’s in Las Vegas! She befriends a seamstress who introduces her to the lead at the Stardusts’ show, Cristal Connors (Gershon) and right away Nomi becomes enamored with the glitz and glamour of Las Vegas. Then, she dry humps Kyle MacLachlan and later on bangs him for the lead in said Stardust show. But remember, she’s not a whore...she’s a dancer!
IS IT A GOOD MOVIE?
Are you kidding me? Shit, I’ve seen better film on teeth. And now that I’ve gotten some distance from all the hype and hoopla, I can say that this movie is just as bad as it was all those years ago, quite possibly worse. See the only thing we (we as in all the other horny toads around my age group) were looking forward to in this was the fact that we were finally going to see Jesse Spano’s tits (and also the tits of a relatively unknown Gina Gershon). And even more, we got to see her dry hump two dudes, making one get gooey pants and even more, we got to see the good ol’ “landing strip”. Sweet, right? At the time, yes, it was.

But we just wanted straight up spank material. So, all those years ago, after viewing this four times in a two hour span, I got around to noticing just what a shitty movie this was. Really. And I’m in the minority here when I say that this doesn’t even fit in the, “It’s so bad, it’s good,” category, while others state that this movie simply defines the category. And see, it wasn’t the directing, the cinematography, it wasn’t anything technical. It was the lead, it was our very own Jesse Spano that totally ruined the movie (not that it had much of a chance to begin with). The same person who thoroughly convinced me that she was in love with A.C. Slater and his weird, curly-hair mullet. What happened? Was I so blinded by her ass in those tight, eighties-style jeans that I completely overlooked what a horrible actress she was?

Well, folks, it seems that I was in fact blinded by the light. Horrible movie, but I may have been convinced by David Schmader (see commentary below) that it does define the “So bad, it’s good” category.
THE EXTRAS
“The Greatest Movie Ever Made”: Commentary with David Schmader, Video Commentary on the Strip-Club Dance Scene by the Girls of Scores – I know, I know, “Who the f*ck is David Schmader?” I asked myself the same thing and as it turns out, Schmader is a Seattle based writer who has on numerous occasions held screenings of this with a live commentary and has distributed DVDs with his commentaries on the tracks. The studio caught wind of it and asked him to do the commentary for this here VIP Edition. It’s important to note that Schmader has an unabashed passion for Showgirls, but in that aforementioned, “So bad, it’s good,” way. Kind of like me and SAVING SILVERMAN. I didn’t get the whole tongue in cheek approach of this track the first ten minutes or so, since the first scene starts with him saying, “…I’ll be here to talk about…wait, this scene is good I have to shut up.” I was thinking, Jesus I hope this guy’s not serious. But he is.

He knows the movie’s bad but the way he describes these warped minded themes and motifs; you don’t come up with this shit when you really detest a movie. Schmader manages to keep everything funny and interesting, from his observations on how all the women in the movie interact (they either talk about nails, being naked or eating chips, and this is true, I counted) to discussing Paul Verhoeven’s essays on the movie that can be found in the Showgirls coffee table book. It’s like watching a movie with your one smart friend, you know, the one who went to community college for a semester. Funny shit here, the best feature on the DVD and worth it on its own.

Lap-Dance Tutorial: A blonde with the personality of a door nail (ran out of blow?) and an okay looking brunette provide some tips on the art of lap dancing, all while some bored looking guy pretends to have a good time. From “Warming yourself up” to “Tempting his other senses” to what the girls call, “Tease, pose and spank”, you get it all right here. Have your lady friend take notes.

A Showgirls Diary: A look at five different scenes including Verhoeven’s sketches and some behind the scenes stuff. No “Play All” feature which is kind of annoying.

Trivia Track: This is one of those pop-up bubble features, peppered with all kinds of interesting info. Like take the first bubble, Nomi is named after screenwriter Joe Eszterhas’ wife (good one guy), Joe received $2 million dollars for the Showgirls script (?!), Elizabeth Berkley’s bra cup is a 34C, Madonna (and Drew Berrymore) were offered the role of Nomi, Madonna turned the role down over script concerns (subsequently starring in Swept Away) and much, much more.

MGM Releases: Two DVD spots are shown for The Great Escape (SE) and The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly (SE). Second best feature on the DVD.

Original Theatrical Trailer.
FINAL DIAGNOSIS
For you nutty Showgirls fans, the box set is a definite buy, which includes shot glasses, blind folds, pin the pasties on the stripper game, a deck of cards, nekkid lithographs and more. For you curiosity seekers, this may not even interest you as it did back in the day, seeing as you can download nudie pics of Elizabeth Berkley in a matter of seconds. Rent this for the commentary track. Trust me.
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